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Am I wrong to feel so hurt???

My son's father has been very minimally involved in our son's 5 and a half years of life. He recently (Oct 31) manned up and went to the courts to get legal visitation with our son. As of now he only see's our son everyother Sat for a few hours. He talked about how he was going to prove to him that he was the world and he would do everything he could to try and make up for the lost time. However today I find out he's expecting another baby with some random girlfriend. I was in shock! I am just so worried for my sons sake.. What's going to happen to him when the new baby comes... How will I explain to him that although he got use to seeing his dad that it wont last... Which I know it wont! He's a very young and selfish boy....perfect example of a deadbeat dad!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Nov. 17, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Dont explain that to him. A few hours every other Sat is not that much and shouldnt be an issue. I would just explain to him that hes getting a new baby brother or sister and that Daddy loves him very much but will also be busy with baby. Hes too young to get into all that so just see how things turn out when the baby comes. GL
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 10:21 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Make sure you talk to his dad too. tell him your concerns with all of this.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 10:22 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Your son will figure the dad out and when he gets old enough he will not have anything to do with him My duaghters now18 and 21 dont talk to their father and havnt in over 3 years, the 21 has talked to him a few times in the past few months. Like my 18 y/o says YOU CANT MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME just raise your son with YOUR LOVE and he will turn out like you not his father
    Good Luck
    Robin
    cfsmom

    Answer by cfsmom at 10:25 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • No parent can make the child hate the other parent. If the child dislikes a parent it will be that parents doing...not something you said or did. Kids are smart and they can figure it out. I'm sorry....maybe I don't understand your last statement....He's a very young and selfish boy...perfect example of a deadbeat dad...are you talking about your son or his Father? I hope you weren't talking about your son.....
    Just because he's having another child doesn't mean he won't love your son. You can love more than one child at a time. Maybe he's growing up a bit and you may want to give him the benifit of the doubt. For whatever reasons he wasn't envolved then it sounds like he's trying now. And for your son's sake...that's not a bad thing.
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 10:54 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I have 2 children that's dad rarely came to see them. They are now 23 and 21. Although they do keep in contact with him they do not associate to much with him. When something is wrong they come and find the dad who raised them. my DH. Yes, it is hard on the child when dad hasn't grew up yet. My advise is to only answer the questions he asks you. Remember know matter how mad his dad makes you do not belittle him or talk him down. He is ruining his relationship with his son all on his own.

    When I lost my youngest child the 2 older children's dad said "that could have been one of ours. I've lost so much." Now he wants them to be a part of his life and they can only have a casual contact with him. He is more like a family friend to them then a dad. It took me loosing a child for him to see that. He has a set of 6 yr old twins now. I hope he sticks with it for they're sake.
    Xee

    Answer by Xee at 12:32 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Yes...I was refering to my son's father as a dead beat dad. Not my son. And I've tried to talk to his father about how I feel but I get no response except, " I told you I've been wanting another one" he's 20 yrs old! What 20 year old wants to have another child when you already have one that you havent bothered to provide for, for the past 5 years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

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