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How do you get over losing a good friend?

This person and I were friends for about a year, and I felt like they knew me well, we had a lot of commonality, we made each other laugh, we learned from each other, and we were supportive of each other when we had problems in our respective lives.
I broke off the relationship because the bottom line was this person basically betrayed me siding with someone else in an extended argument. I don't want to get into the details but there were a few little issues right before the big fight as well.
What I'm asking is..I miss this person immensely but I know we will never be friends again. How do you get over losing someone that was so close at one time? People have told me, "just get over it" HOW?

Answer Question
 
bookmommy

Asked by bookmommy at 6:11 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (876 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You go through the normal grieving process like you would if a loved one/family member died.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:15 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I told my DH that's what it felt like, and he just said I should "get over it" and he doesn't know how to help me. I really feel like I can't make any more friends now. I can't get this hurt ever again.
    bookmommy

    Comment by bookmommy (original poster) at 6:18 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Eventually you learn to accept it and move on. But it takes time just like grieving for someone, as said earlier. You don't get over it. You learn to accept it.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:53 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • This has happened to me with 3 extremly close friends. They were like sisters to me and for 3 different reasons the friendships were ended. It hurt, felt like betrayal with a couple of them and heart break with all of them. Women invest so deeply into the relationships with other women that just seem to click. Guys will never understand how a stranger can become so close in a matter of a week or what a heartbreak it is when years down the road they are now no longer a part of your life. It is hard going from a sisterhood to nothing at all. You feel lost, empty and kind of scared to make new friends. The only thing I can say is cry it out, miss them and keep open to new people. I may not have those three in my life anymore but I have 2 friends now that have more than filled those voids. They are my soul mates, or I guess soul friends. When those friends come along you will know it and you wont worry about the what ifs. GL
    ReneeLRS

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 12:06 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • make other friends! that's how i got over my best friend...we were super close- but she couldn't stop her ridiculous lying habit (she'd lie about the dumbest stuff). but when i stopped hanging out with her, i started hanging out with other people- even friends i normally didn't see often. made me realize i had some great people in my life that i wasn't paying attention to! good luck, it's not easy at first- but in the end it's better
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 12:56 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Allow yourself time to grieve. Like a divorce or the breakup of a romantic relationship, it feels like the person has died. Something has died, the relationship, so give yourself some time. Not all friendships last. In my lifetime, I have had friends come and go. Only one has lasted my whole life and even that one sometimes was on a sabbatical. Give thanks for the friendship that was, and then move on. It's ok to be sad about it, but there are other people out there for you to be friends with.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 7:49 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

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