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What is wrong with my nephew? adult content

My nephew is 10 and has many issues. He is very rude and has no respect for anyone. He wears high heals, plays with dolls and will be very innappropriate with his cousin (my other nephew). His cousin just turned 6. They will coshower sometimes and my nephew will constantly try to grab and "tickle" his little cousins privates. Hes the same way out of the shower. He is also very mean to his cousin. He will teach him bad things and will abuse him when no one is around. By abuse I mean pain. Not touching. (That we know of). He comes from an effed up fam. His mom is a user and lives with him. He is being "raised" by his grandparents(my inlaws). I know they are not molesters so maybe it might happen somewhere else? I have no clue. Ive told my MIL that she needs to take him to counseling. He is a horrible and a really messed up child. She agrees and yet does nothing about it.

What is wrong with him? Im just assuming that hes been molested. There is no proof nor has he said he was. Im just tryiing to figure out why he is so screwed up. I dont ever want to be around him and will not let dd around him. Is he gay? Would a gay child act this way? Is he just desturbed? Im so confused. Please give me your input. Thanks

 
Steph319

Asked by Steph319 at 6:20 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Health

Level 21 (11,543 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Just from your post you state he has a messed up family, sadly this is no fault of his. I agree with the response that he is just learning from what must have been taught to him. He seems to have anger issues, along with other issues that need to be supervised and dealt with. You state that his mom is a user, this will have a major effect on a child. If the grandparents, won't get him help somebody needs to. This child is crying out for help, so I hope for his sake he gets it.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 7:24 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Well he needs something. It sounds like something bad has happened to him - either he's seen stuff he shouldn't or he's been molested. He's too old to be showering with other children, especially if he's trying to touch them inappropriately. I'd suggest counseling. They can probably best determine what, if anything, has happened and what can and needs to be done.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • gays are not necessarily aggressive. even if he was molested usually victims don't act out showing others what's up. if they know he's acting like that then don't put him in the shower with another child!!!! Always supervise him with others. Does he do it at school? If so he may have a mental illness that needs to be addressed. I agree he needs counseling. Never think that the grandparents can't be molesters. Molesters are great actors. it's how they get away with it for so long. I'm sure he's been around other adults who could have taken advantage of his innocence. Maybe mom had some rough boyfriends. He needs help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • my only thought is this...he's has seen someone have sex or seen someone naked and masturbating. you said the mother uses, does she bring home men and not care where they do it?

    think about it. ive had to deal with that where i discovered my children grabbing each other too and i finally figured out co-sleeping was not an option anymore. (in the same room, not the same bed). i had a talk with them and told them it wasnt funny nor was it a good thing.

    being mean to others...he could just need attention and doesnt know how to ask for it so it might be negleted
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • He is doing what is or has been done to him. It isn't his fault, you may be the only person he has that can help him, because you have noticed it. He's just a baby, he needs a professional to talk to him to find out what has been going on with him. Children don't just come up with that stuff by themselves. You might want to let your MIL know that if the teachers pick up on this at school, they aren't going to ask her, they will report it to Child Services and they will launch an immediate investigation and if they don't like what they find, they will remove him from the home. So, MIL might want to hurry along with whatever the plan is and if there isn't a plan, one needs to be made. Poor little thing. Best wishes to you all.
    jdjamm

    Answer by jdjamm at 6:34 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • just being gay would not cause him to act this way. Obviously something has happened to him for him to think it is ok to act like that. Maybe you should contact the school counselor if the grandparents will not do anything. The counselor will take the appropriate steps to find out if something seriously messed up is going on in his life. Good luck and I don't blame you for not letting your kids around him I wouldn't either. Someone has to do something and it sounds like you are the only one who will take initiative .

    malleymom106

    Answer by malleymom106 at 6:59 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Your attitude does not sound helpful. You are critical. Call him horrible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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