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What should i do? very long sorry but really need help!

awhile back a girl and my son were sending nude texts of each other and we talked with the parents that go to our church and we were once friends with. their daughter at the time was just here for vacation as her father had custody of her. now our freinds got custody of her and she is now living with them. when we talked about this issue they said they weren't sure if they should bring her back or not cause they felt like the kids wouldn't leave each other alone. they said that for sure they wouldn't send her to the same school as our son. she tried contacting my son through facebook by having her friend befriend him on it. well they saw that and the father went up to my son and said something about it in a treathening way. which i don't like. if he has issues he should come to us not my son. i'm sure that my son knew it was her cause i'm sure that in the fb friend request she would of stated it was her and she was using her friends profile. then we find out that she is now attending my sons school and that the parents have other kids in church to spy on our son at school who knows where else. i don't like this for 2 reasons 1. he shouldn't involve other kids/families into our issue 2nd. if she comes up to my son it will be reported that he was talking with her. i don't know what they intend to do with this info, i.e. tell the cops of pics and that he is still talking with her. i don't know. my son feels this is a set up which is good so maybe he will stay away. what if she does find him and tries to talk with him. he says he will tell her not to but i'm not sure she will. i have been a girl before and i didn't always listen especially when i knew that my parents are trying to control something. my question is should i say something to them about how they should not involve others and how they shouldn't be coming to my son and asking him questions about what their daughter did to contact him and what not. i don't like an angry father intimidating my son! he was not the only at fault and he was not the one or has been the one trying to contact him. also i also feel i should tell the mother or parents of the child they asked to spy on him so that they know that they are bringing their children into issues that are not related to them. i just want this to stop. should i do that as well.

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Asked by melody77 at 6:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,435 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I'd be having a talk with the parents about this

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:24 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Your son is being stalked and threatened! I would call the police. Record all instances of contact between him and the father, what was said, the names of his spies, and print any friend requests she sends or any internet contact she tries to initiate. I would also make the school aware of the situation. The teachers should be able to keep an eye on her and keep them separated. Do everything you can to protect your son and if the father approaches him or you again, let him know that THIS IS BULLYING and it will NOT be tolerated. No matter the circumstance it is NEVER okay for an adult to threaten a child.

    Answer by MamaStuart at 6:29 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • yea no one should be talking to your child like that without talking to you first. i would suggest talking to the girl's parents and telling them that your son knows to stay away from her, and if they have a problem they need to talk to you first instead of harassing your child. then i would make sure that his teachers know about him staying away from her, especially if they have any classes together.

    Answer by PhoenixsMommy10 at 6:33 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • my mother says let it go but i don't like her advice...hoping some more answers will give me a better idea of what to do. my mother says i'm stirring the pot but i really want to prevent more stuff from happening.

    Comment by melody77 (original poster) at 6:43 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • your son is a child and the father was wrong for talking to him especially in a threatening manner. you should set up another meeting with him to try work something out. if the father's attitude does not change after that you should take further actions.

    Answer by gwen20 at 6:46 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • She is just as guilty as him. to me it sounds like they are putting all the blame on your son. I think both families should sit down and talk about this like resonable adults. if you feel uncomfortable talking alone with them get your pastor to sit and talk with everyone involved. they also shouldn't be getting other people involved. if they are spying on your son or threatening him I would go to the police and let them know what happened and what is going on now. other wise someone could get hurt from all this mess.

    Answer by princesschilly at 8:11 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Definitely contact the father and let him know that contacting your son is unacceptable. If he continued I would get a restraining order. Also, getting others to stalk your son is illegal! While their child is the one violating all the rules made, your son is getting all of the blame! I think if you can't reason with this girl parents, you'll have to take legal action, for your son's sake!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:46 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

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