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I do not know who i am how i feel what i want i do not know anything

i find that i am a body that is all i do not care about anything or anyone i am cold i only do for my family never for me so i dont even know what i like i dont know what to say cause i dont understand my brain and what it is trying to say to me my heart feels like it is screamming how ever i can not hear it i am scared because i get mad not sad or happy i dont really remember ever being happy for the past several years i dont think i have ever truly been happy i know what i was yesterday and the year before and 5 years before but i can not tell you who I am you ask me i will say i am a mom and a wife i do not work cause i am alway pregnant and i dont go to school because i was 18 when i stoped listening to my brain and droped out of high school i and 3 years silber from pot and i strugel everday to not fall into being an alcoholic seems to get harder every day and i know the only thing stopping me from drinking right now is my daughter i am pg with right now but nothing that makes a person a person do i feel love happyness joy grief hunger i feel so alone although there are so many people in my life but i feel as if i am standing in a room filled with people and no one sees me they look through me but why wouldnt they i am nothing i must be nothing if i was something i would be something other then just a high school drop out mother of two and a wife


sorry for being so depressing i just needed to get it out it is something that bothers me from the moment i wake to the moment i pass out at night and some times in my dream

Answer Question
 
shannonmcgeehen

Asked by shannonmcgeehen at 8:02 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Health

Level 5 (101 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Honey, you need to see a mental health professional to help with the depression and dealing with the issues with alcohol or other drugs. It is ok to need help. Counseling will help you find who you are, other than a mom.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:04 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • You really need to speak to a counselor or someone about this. If you don't get a break from your responsibilities at home, you are going to go literally insane. You need to look after your mental health for the good of your children. You need friends and a life outside of your home. You definitely need to go back to school and trust me you have TONS of options! You can do it and you can get out of this!
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 8:06 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • You are someones mom and someones daughter and someones sister maybe, you don't give yourself the credit you deserve. You also need professional help before this depression turns into something ugly, seek help.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:08 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • You are definitely something. You have very profound thoughts. Your depression is overwelming you. What you have written sounds mixed up, but there is a message there. Find a purpose for you. Take a course. I am certain that you will be a success if you give yourself the opportunity that you deserve. Remember do something for yourself.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:19 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Get a medical workup and discuss your concerns with your doctor.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:28 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • , hang on , this will pass and lighten up , so glad you shared with us , saying how alot of us feel at times , you said it so well , i wish there was a INSTANT change all , but we know their isnt ,
    i get what you say , i know where you are to be saying these things - just know this .
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 8:46 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I have had these thoughts, too. Your brain keeps running on the same negative track, and you have no idea how to break free of the thoughts that are in your head. I am afraid that you haven't shared everything that's in your head; you're afraid that if someone knew everything you were thinking they'd take your kids and lock you away. You mentioned that you are always pregnant, and that you are pregnant now. What you are struggling with may be post-partum depression that keeps going untreated. Right now, RIGHT NOW call your doctor, talk to your doctor, leave an urgent message with his/her answering service, tell your doctor that you need help right now! Do not wait until your next appointment, do not wait until it is convenient to the people around you. Shut everyone else out for once and take the time to take care of you! I hope and pray that you have a parenting partner with you who loves and supports you. God bless.
    Lisa2ASDkids

    Answer by Lisa2ASDkids at 9:07 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • you are not alone
    Alex831

    Answer by Alex831 at 10:11 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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