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Any NYS Family Law lawyers out there? Help!

I have a son from a previous relationship. I had him with another man while seperated (not legally) from my ex-husband. My exhusband knows my son is not his, and has given up rights in our divorce agreement. He will not be involved in helping me with anymore legal matters. I have remarried. My husband now would like to adopt my son. The bio dad has not been in the picture for any of his life. He is a criminal, a drug addict, and on the run. He has not made any attempts to be in my sons life since he was born 3 years ago. I would not ask for child support back pay. My son has his bio dads last name. Bio dad is NOT on birth certificate, just me. I know he will not give up easily, but i know he will be ruled incompetent.
SO...WHAT CAN I DO?? HOW CAN WE GET HIM ADOPTED AND/OR CHANGE HIS LAST NAME TO OURS? I want us all to be a family... :(

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (9)
  • Bio dad has to sign off
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Is he on the birth certificate?
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 9:36 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • no bio dads name is not on bc.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:38 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • The legally bio-dad has no claim to the child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • i can give you the names of two attorneys in NY. one on LI and one in NYC. pls. send me a pm if you are interested
    kristen308

    Answer by kristen308 at 7:31 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • My husband's ex-wife got pregnant while they were separated and he was named the legal father of the child. His rights were supposedly given up in the divorce papers also. But, we found out that was not legal 3 years later. We ended up getting full custody of the little boy when his mother left him at his grandparents house and they didn't properly care for him. It really depends on the laws in your state but, I know in most southern states if a woman is married (even of they are separated) the husband is automatically named the father. Talk face to face with an attorney because they will want the legal fathers (XH) and the bio father's information to try to contact them. We had to get the BF to sign off on my son's (husband's legal child) adoption because he had the right to be heard in the matter. Whether he is unfit or not he still has rights as the child's BF.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 11:42 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • If he's not on the BC you have nothing to worry about. If he wants to contest the adoption he has to get a blood test done to prove the child's his and he would have to pay for that out of his own pocket which I don't think he would be willing to do from how you've described him.
    MamaStuart

    Answer by MamaStuart at 11:06 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Unfortunately, in most states, you have to have the bio dad sign off. My sister was not sure who the father was of her first son, so when she married her husband wanted to adopt him when he was a year old, they had to advertise in the newspaper to give any potential fathers the opportunity to come forward. You need to consult a lawer, as state laws differ. Good luck.
    Tawneekitn

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 6:17 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • You need to talk to a lawyer.

    HomeAlone45

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 3:58 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

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