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Question for a friend. (Semi Wordy)

Hey I am asking for a friend and she has no internet right now.

She is dating a guy and has been for eight months. She feels as though she is having trust issues with him. She got a vib one night that she thought he was talking to someone else and he said he was when he called her back, well he said it was this guy. When she seen him next and when he was asleep she checked his phone (I know I know the whole privacy thing, but she had a hunch that she was rigt on because of how he was acting), she was right he was talking to one of his female friends that is 10 years older than him that night and he has always claimed she is "just a friend." She has caught him three times doing this, question is why would he lie?? IF she is just a friend who actually showed a little bit of jealousy when he told her about his gf (my friend), but he actually told my friend there is no way what so ever he has any interest like that in her. He is 40 she is 50, (my friend is 38) so why would he not just tell his gf who he was talking to instead of lying about it IF it is nothing?? Even though it seems like a "white lie" isn't a lie a lie no matter what color you paint it??
Maybe it isn't a big thing, maybe he was trying to smooth it over so she wouldn't think anything is going on?? My friend is pretty easy going and doesn't keep him under her thumb, so she is wondering whatelse he could have lied about or what he does lie about, I don't know what else to tell her I am out of advice. My thought was anyone who tells a white lie has no problem telling a bigger lie with no second thoughts about it. Maybe I am wrong?? What are your thoughts???
Thank you :)

I would like to also add what I forgot to put. He never sees this woman she lives like an hr and a half away from my friend and her bf, not sure if that means anything  or not but thought I would mention it. She said most of the calls on the call logs are that woman calling him and him calling her back there has been a few times he has called her with her calling him first. Again don't know if it means anything but throwing that out there as well.......


Asked by AmI88 at 11:20 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,194 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • If his calls are mostly from her, there is no denying it. There has got to be more to this than he's saying. I would be asking him where he thinks your relationship is headed. That girl he's talking to, is there a chance they were in a relationship previously?

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:12 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • It's more than a friendship.

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 11:22 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • That is not a white lie, that is a big fat lie. Liars are liars. Your friend's "relationship" is in trouble.

    Answer by emilex at 11:26 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Thats what I was thinking...

    Comment by AmI88 (original poster) at 11:27 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Many times we older women want something simple and fun not a real, long-term relationship. Maybe he likes the younger woman for a girlfriend and the older woman just for fun like any other friend. I'm guessing he lied so the gf wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Lie, Sneak, Cheat if he does it once he'll do it again!

    Answer by linsey1001 at 11:39 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Well the "older" woman knows he is dating the "younger girl" so she does need to back off IF that is the case because i can promise my friend has no issues with knocking on someones door and confronting them especially when she does alreay know where she lives. I am sure she would have a few choice words for him as well.....

    Comment by AmI88 (original poster) at 11:40 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • There is nothing wrong with an older woman having a younger guy as a "boy toy" or "trophy" BUT there is something wrong with it when he is involved, it just hit me that anonymous soulds like an older woaman who gets what she can while she can regardless if the man is married or if he has a finance or gf. IF that is the case Karma Train is a witch and you get every bit of what you deserve. I am sure you are that way or you would have posted with your name involved. I myself have no use for cheaters nor do I have any use for people who help others cheat. Not trying to bash, just call it like i see it.

    Comment by AmI88 (original poster) at 11:58 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • As far as I know there is no chance they were ever seeing each other. From what my friend tells me, I think that woman has more interest in him than he does for her, but why he would lie I don't know. I think my friend knows she calls, he knows it and knows she does not like it one bit so that is why I am wondering if he lied and said something else instead of the truth. BUT a lie is a lie regardless of how big or small. I don't know why he doesn't tell her to take her butt on somewhere else...its not like he owes her anything.

    Comment by AmI88 (original poster) at 8:54 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Here is another thought, how does he act when he is talking to her? Does he leave the room, talks secretly behind your back? Acts like it's not a big deal. If both of you are on the same phone plan, change his phone number and see if this continues. If so, I would definitely know by then that there is more going on than meets the eye. Could she be harassing him? If he enjoys getting the calls, I would definitely be suspicious. I hope this gets straightened out.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:52 PM on Feb. 15, 2011