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3 Bumps

Keep the kid happy or kiss the friendship goodbye?

My friend guy friend just turned 29, had his kids very young and has been raising them on his own the last 5 years. I have helped out with the kids a lot. His 12 year old daughter came to me and said she really likes this boy and wants to go out with me, but her dad won't let her date.
She is asking well begging actually that I cover for her and tell her dad shes staying at my house this weekend so she can go out with this boy. It's just a date to the movies. I'm a bit torn, she trusts me and I hate to break that, plus my friend may be overreacting to a little date. What would you guys do? Thoughts? Cover for the kid, tell your friend?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • she's 12 dear!! And if you teach her it's ok to sneak around behind her dad's back, that's teaching her it's ok to do that when she's 16 when she sneaks out... and in MANY cases gets pregnant. Don't encourage her to do this. that's crazy. Be a leader. Do what's right. I would talk to her dad and just say....your daughter wants to sneak around, so I suggest you compromise with her and have the boy over for dinner and let her have a little boyfriend even if you don't let her go on dates. She will respect you more in the long run. Plus the truth ALwAyS comes out. is it worth ruining a friendship over letting a 12 year lie to her dad?? NO. If i were you I would take her dad's side and tell her she has her whole life to date...but you'll talk to her dad about letting her have a boyfriend.
    mamastyles

    Answer by mamastyles at 12:09 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Be the responsible adult. 12 year olds don't need to date. Tell her to get a group of friends together for the movie, and then help her ask dad.
    sojourner.

    Answer by sojourner. at 12:06 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • You should have told her straight up that she must obey her fathers rules, you and her father need to stand together on rules. I agree with her father she is too young to be going out on dates..
    LuvNLaughter

    Answer by LuvNLaughter at 12:13 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • i would go to the movie with her like be a chaperone , if she will go for it , and see how they both act. , or forget it
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 11:58 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • No reason for a 12 year old to date. You are not thinking straight to go against his wishes. She is his daughter and you should not be working to deceive him.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 12:15 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Talk to her dad first and never let her think it's okay to sneek behind dad's back and undermine his authority.
    Explain to her that you will talk it over with her dad and see about a group date or you and him catching the movie with her but that
    you "adults" would sit waaay in the back so you wouldn't cramp her style and wreck her "date".
    Missikat75

    Answer by Missikat75 at 3:41 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I would stick to the father's rules. He is the parent and I bet he is trusting you would agree to that. If anything, why not mention something on her behalf. Even say your sorry to butt in but you wanted to let him know that you didn't think it was a bad idea. I agree with the father. I think going out with a boy at 12 is too young.
    AmyLynn5398

    Answer by AmyLynn5398 at 12:01 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I would stick to the rules...maybe she can ask to go to the movie with some friends, and actually have a group of friends go and the boy be included?..not really specifying that they like each other or even a date really..I had a friend in this situation with her parents and ultimately she and the boy broke up..it's not worth losing the father's trust or playing good cop bad cop,..
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 12:08 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • She is 12 YEARS OLD, What does she need to go out on a date for? My great grandma used to say "dating behavior is mating behavior, if they are too young to mate, then they are too young to date" and while I feel that that is a little extreme, I think 12 is a crazy age to date.Why not instead, ask her if she can ask the boy to get a group of their friends together to go too. This way 1. they are not "dating at 12" and 2. it won't be against dad's rules and you don't have to lie"
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 12:09 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I think you need to respect her father's wishes, teaching her its okay to sneak behind her parents back is not a good idea. I would talk to her father about it, however like others have said; she's 12, there is no need for a one on one date. A group of friends going to the movies is one thing, but a 12 yr old girl wanting to sneak behind her father's back to go on a date with a "boyfriend" is concerning to me. I couldn't in good conscious agree to that.

    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 5:28 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

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