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Am I the only one??

I am a new mom. My son was born 9 weeks early and was just released from the hospital on Saturday (he was born 12/27/10). I love having him home with me and being able to touch and love on him whenever I want to. The problem is, I always want to love on him. He fights sleep a lot. After feeding and changing him I hold him till he falls asleep, then put him down in his pack n play or his crib. He is a very vocal baby and chatters as he is trying to not fall asleep. I am having a really hard time allowing him to self soothe and just drift off to sleep. My first instinct is to pick him back up and hold him again. I know that he needs to learn to self soothe. He is not crying, just chattering. Am I the only one who has to fight not to give in to the urge to pick him up every time he chatters? Any suggestions on how to just let him be and fall asleep on his own?


Asked by ElenaC419 at 6:51 AM on Feb. 15, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (12)
  • oh mama, have you been through the ringer! what a miracle baby - how very blessed you are!
    i was the same way - i wanted dd to self-sooth. but honestly, i realized that i had to accept that some days, she's going to want to be held/rocked to sleep. for several days straight. and some days she wants her bouncer, some days her swing, and some days she doesn't want to sleep AT ALL!!! she's my first, too. she's six months old, now, and i've learned that i'd rather cuddle with my baby than engage in a power struggle. and there's no harm done. other times when she's going to fall asleep on her own, i put her down and let her learn to self-sooth. that's when i get mommy time. (or reward daddy for putting up with mommy time lol)
    you're doing fine, mama. enjoy that precious little bundle of yours

    Answer by AngryBob at 7:53 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Oh honey, if I had gone through all you had gone through just to have him I would never put him down! It seemed like my son was constantly held by either me or his daddy when he was an infant. Now that he's a toddler we have to chase him down to love him, lol. I vote snuggle, hold and love that baby whenever you get the urge!

    Answer by DeeDee323 at 7:24 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • this must be your first baby,,,, it will change, go ahead and do the love thing,,,,,

    Answer by gardenchic at 6:56 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • He is a little young for self soothing anyway.. especially since he was so early! I say pick him up and snuggle whenever you want. There will come a day when you are so sleep deprived you will fall asleep before he finished chattering anyway. There is nothing wrong with holding a baby that little as much as you want. I didn't start letting my dughter self sooth until she was 6 months and she was born full term : )

    Answer by Anon344 at 9:57 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Forget self-soothing. They all learn to do it... and they do it better when their parents do PRECISELY as you ARE. Keep it up and delete the term "self soothing" from your vocabulary. Never think on it again... you don't need to! Normal babiues do it WHEN THEY ARE READY. Which, by the way has NOTHING to do wih parental readiness for it.


    Answer by gdiamante at 10:27 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Your mother "gut" that wants to hold and love this baby and rock him to sleep is 100% RIGHT! Whoever told you that he needs to learn to "self soothe" is 100% WRONG!

    If you want a baby to grow up happy and healthy and independent you hold them as much as possible. Especially with a premie! All of that holding and skin to skin contact is really important for their brain development.

    Listen to your heart and trust your instinct and ignore any one who tells you to do something that goes against it!!!!

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 5:03 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Nope, I had that problem too....although I didn't really think it was a problem. You're still bonding with your baby so enjoy it!

    Answer by how_reb at 6:55 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Yes, this is my first baby. He was a miracle conception, as we were told pregnancy would be very difficult to obtain and we tried for over a year. We were in the ending process of an adoption home study when we found out we were pregnant. He was also a miracle birth. I had severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. My kidneys were failing and he was delivered by emergency c-section. When he was delivered, he had his cord wrapped around his neck 3 times.....

    Comment by ElenaC419 (original poster) at 7:01 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I had a hard time letting my oldest "talk" himself to sleep, but when my 2nd (and subsequent babies) were born I realized it was a lot easier to let him babble for a few minutes before he drifted off and that gave me that much more time to spend with my 1st.

    Answer by missanc at 8:58 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Enjoy that baby and "spoil" him if that's what you want to call it. You have been thru so much you deserve to just revel in your time with your baby. I personally don't think you can spoil a baby before six months, and I don't think they need to self-soothe before that time either. All they need is to be held and cuddled and loved as much as possible. My daughter was held so much her first 6 months I worried a little that we had spoiled her, but she easily learned to sleep in her own bed, thru the night, and is a very secure and happy little girl. If your gut says pick him up then I say go for it and don't feel guilty.

    Most of all congratulations on being a new Mommy!!

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:03 PM on Feb. 15, 2011