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Half way through pregnancy, not yet feeling connected

I am 23 weeks pregnant and found out im having a little boy about 2 1/2 weeks ago. i feel him move inside me almost everyday, and my husband has even been able to feel him move if he keeps his hand in the right spot long enough. I am having worries though bc, yes i am very excited to be having this baby, and thrilled to find out its a little boy. but i am not feeling that "connection" with him yet. i mean he is inside me and can feel him, but i just dont feel that motherly bond yet. this is my first child and i have no idea if this is normal or when you are "supposed" to start feeling that.

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nikkinator

Asked by nikkinator at 11:34 AM on Feb. 15, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • i'm not sure any mothers actually feel a real connection til they see the child. i know i certainly didn't
    momofone725

    Answer by momofone725 at 11:35 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Its different for everyone. I didnt feel a connection until late into my 3rd trimester. I also had a hard time connecting after he was born, but thats not because of my connection issues during pregnancy. My views on pregnancy and other subjects regarding pregnancy made it hard for me.
    ArmyWifeAshlie

    Answer by ArmyWifeAshlie at 11:35 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • you'll feel it soon enough
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 11:36 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • With my first I didn't get that connection until after he was born and a couple days I had him home. I felt horrible because I didn't have that feeling right after he was born. I was young, he was my first and I was scared until I realized how much the little guy loved me already then my heart melted for him and still does. It will happen :) GL
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 11:37 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I felt completely connected during my pregnancy and then I didn't once I had him.. I didn't actually bond with him til he was a year old.. Its different for ALL mothers.. just don't be too hard on yourself if its not "Baby Story " perfect for you- I had unrealistic expectations of motherhood and how i SHOULD feel.. it WILL happen Mommy.. in the mean time.. just keep trying to be excited like you are
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:40 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • With our first the moment I threw up I knew I was prego and felt the connection.
    With the second it wasn't until he was in my arms.
    I also agree with the bonding once you see that face. I really wanted a girl but found out we were having a 3rd boy. We did the 3/4D ultrasound and once I could see him and his little features forming I felt connected. It has made everything much easier for me.
    mslksdh

    Answer by mslksdh at 11:45 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I thought it was really cool and I was excited that I was having kids, but I didn't really connect with any of my kids til they were actually here. Now, if I had experienced a misscarriage, I could imagine I would be devistated. So we all probably have a connection, regaurdless of if we feel it or not. Don't stress it though...you'll love that little guy when he's here! xo Congrats!
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 11:47 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Really that connection your talking about happens at birth. When you are in your final stage of birth your body releases oxytocin (the love hormone) and a ton of it. That is when you connect with your baby. That's also why I have such a huge problem with hospitals that take your baby away for testing immediately after they come out. That time is important for your bonding.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 11:48 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I didn't feel it untel a couple weeks after we brought ds home. My hormones were a wreck because of postpartum depression but am doing tons better now. I wouldn't trade anything for the world right now.
    jilligan362

    Answer by jilligan362 at 12:02 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • trust me when you see your precious little boy mother insticts are gunna kick in your gunna have that bond when you first see him and your eyes are gunna be filled with tears just give it time dont worry alot of mothers fill like tyhat before they are born
    eliesmommy1989

    Answer by eliesmommy1989 at 12:16 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

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