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Why doesnt anyone support me??

Ever since i was 16 i always knew that the only thing in life i wanted to be was a wife and a mother. I knew that thats just what i was looking forward to that no job could ever forfill. But now that im 21 and i found an amazing fiance who is my best friend, my support, my rock..he's everything. He has an awesome job that pays well enough i dont even have to work and have been staying home for about 3 months now. Since my family found out that he wanted me to be a stay at home wife it started in with the "your lazy" or "must be nice having other people support you while you sit around" it makes me feel horrible! And now were trying for our first baby and its something that we couldnt be more excited for..his side of the family is so supportive and cant wait! But my side...now "im messing up my whole life. Ill never be anything. its such a stupid decision. Ill be a bad mom" among other things. Having this family and being able to stay home and take care of my family is something i always wanted why is it so hard for my family to support me! Expessially when my sister had my newphew at 19 and my mom started when she was 14! why.. just wanted to finally talk to someone about how i feel

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Csimoes23

Asked by Csimoes23 at 11:45 AM on Feb. 15, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • MAybe they are a abit jealous of what you are able to do? Try to ignore them and be the best mom you can be ....what they dont know is that being a SAHM you are often more busy and juggle more hats than those who work full time! More power to ya mama...try to not let it all get to ya
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 11:48 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Im so sorry you arent being supported. Just remember you are incredibly blessed. His family is who you need to be spending more time with now. Maybe your sis and your mom are a tiny bit jealous that they had to do it so young and feel like you are doing better. Misery loves company. Tell them if they cant be supportive you wont be spending much time with them.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 11:49 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Because from life experience they know better. And divorce occurs like 50% of the time.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 11:50 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Do they know how you feel? Have tried talking to them? If yes, then don't pay any attention to their babble. I'm sure you will make a great mother. Spend more time with finance's family since they seem so supportive of you. GL
    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 11:50 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • maybe they didnt have it so good. they may have had bad experiences. try not to look down at them..just listen and let it go.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:51 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I know for a fact that I could never be a stay at home mom. I get bored or run out of things to do- then I get crabby and resentful. I don't find house work fulfilling when I am the only one doing it, I hate TV and get really bored with the internet. But that's why I won't be a stay at home mom.

    On the other hand I am the only woman in my office. Everyone else has a stay at home wife and they are wonderful. Their children are wonderful. I know their wives personally and have nothing but respect for them. They work their butts off at home!
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 11:53 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Maybe they are just worried and don't know how to handle it? I know my mom wants me to have an education and job options for the "just in case" situations. What if DH got laid off or injured somehow and couldn't work? What if we divorced? What if, heaven forbid, he died or was in a coma? Could I get a job that paid well enough to support us without my life having to be a struggle? Of course, she always said if being a stay at home mom was what I wanted in life, she would be very happy for me and that is awesome... she just wants me to have options if I NEED them.

    Since you didn't say that is how your family feels about it, maybe they are just ignorant. Some people think that because a woman SHOULD have equal rights and the opportunities to a career etc...that means they have to do it all to have any worth. That's misguided thinking since the point is to have the OPTION. Just keep your head up! Your life, your dreams!
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 11:54 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I agree with jewjewbee...I am young too and trying to find my way through this thing called life. I always roll my eyes when my parents, still, try to give me advice. But, I have to take a step back and realize they just want what is best for me and have experienced more in life than I have. Since you are so young they may not understand why you are in such a rush to get married and start a family. Yes, it is what we all want and some of us want it at different stages in life. But, you are very young and have so much life ahead of you. Enjoy the journey and let things fall where they may. Do not rush something because years from now you may look back & wonder where the time went. But, if you are happy then you must do what you want to do in life.

    p.s. I do not agree with the jalous comments above, just because people give you advice and don't agree with your lifestyle doesn't mean they are jealous, right??
    LeaMarie4061

    Answer by LeaMarie4061 at 12:00 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • They arent being understanding because they lack the ability to understand. They probably lead very different lives. Maybe they struggled and had bad relationships with the people they chose to have children with? Maybe they had to work and did not have a choice? So they cannot understand how you have a good man whose willing to give you what you want, and allow you to be a stay at home wife and mom. I wouldnt stress about it. I would probably pity them more then anything because they are not capable of understanding what it is like to have what you actually want in life because they didnt get what they wanted.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:01 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • They might also be concerned. I had it pounded into my brain by my mother that no woman has any business marrying or reproducing until she is capable of supporting herself and her children; she saw too many divorces among women of her generation who never learned anything but how to be a wife and mother.

    And here's a truism: No one in your life will ever support you completely. You have to learn to live for YOU and not worry about pleasing others.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:10 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

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