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Thinking about kicking husband out

Here goes dh and I live quite comfortablly right now. For the past 3-4 years we have been getting his parents out of a financial bind. Last year I got fed up with it and put a stop to it. His parents own 2 houses on 2 properties it has been in the family for years. MIL has a money problem where she goes out and take out a second mortgage every few years. MY sister and her husband is now living in one of the houses(we married brothers), when they refuse to make payments MIL calls dh to make payments. We have been bailing them out all this time where our little savings has been dwilinding. Anyways last night he comes home and says that his mom want for him to put the house in his name and take out a loan to make the payments go down(but they will continue to may the mortgage). They say the bank want them to pay $5000 a month and they are trying to get the payment down that is why they asked him to put it in his name. I am piss. For one MIL should have included me in the conversation. Second, dh already agreed to help them out. MIL says that they owe only $75,000 but she told my sister and BIL she only owe $50,000. I went on line today and found out they have taken out numerous home loans since 1988 I can't even count on both fingers how many they took out(both MIL and FIL has taken loans out separetely). I tried telling dh that something is not right about the situation but he thinks that his momma shit dosen't stink. If they can't pay their mortgage now what makes you think they going to pay it once it is your name(that is what I asked him). We have our own family to think about, I am going back to school and have to pay tuition, we owe IRS, we have 2 kids that every time we turn around they need something, and we have been saving up to get our dream house built. I think helping them out will open up a can of worms. I am to the point that where i feel like kicking his ass out, because he is not thinking anout HIS family. I need some advise ladies.


Asked by babygirl0782 at 12:36 PM on Feb. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,550 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Tell your husband that you are willing to consider her proposal, but first you want the two of you to go to an unbiased financial counselor to get his/her opinion on what you may or may not be in for. Right now, your husband sees the battle as being between you and his mother. That's a battle not too many wives will win, so instead of trying to convince him that you are right and she is wrong, try to persuade him that you are keeping an open mind but that you are concerned for the future of your own family and want to be reassured that this decision will not adversely affect "us." It is highly probably that if someone else tells him that it's a bad idea, he will hear them and think it was his idea. Even if he goes ahead with it, I would not kick him out. Sometimes experience is a wonderful teacher and eventually makes for wonderful husbands. I would not want you to miss out on that when it happens!!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:55 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • She may indeed only owe what she claims. The number of home loans doesn't actually matter; the amount owed does. New loans often pay off the old ones, so don't look at the number of loans because that just reflects refinancing.

    Lawyer up. Even just for this deal. If he refuses to get a legal contract drawn up, then at least get yourself protected.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:43 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Scuba, I'm so sorry I accidently hit thumbs down and I never meant to. I feel like a dumba&&.

    Answer by jilligan362 at 1:50 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • You need to STOP bailing out your IL's. They aren't financially responsible, and if the house(s) end up in your name you are going to be on the hook for more than you bargained for. The plus side is that if the mortgage is in your name they can't get a traditional second mortgage, but I bet they could find someplace that would allow them to use the house as collateral. (Remember that the deed and the mortgage are two separate things!!)

    Answer by Scuba at 12:41 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • We are their last resort they have burnt their bridges with everyone else in the family. We can't afford to pay their mortgage(if they can't pay it) and pay our bills. MY sister and BIL is living in the house and they do not have a stable job. Its too shady for me.

    Comment by babygirl0782 (original poster) at 1:01 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • This definitely sounds like a shady deal..I would def have a heart to heart with DH

    Answer by Mommyto2LilMen at 2:09 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • No worries, jilligan! :)

    OP; the idea of getting an unbiased source is a really good one - an accountant or attorney may be able to show your DH that this just isn't a wise move for you. Best of luck, I just can't imagine.

    Answer by Scuba at 5:23 PM on Feb. 15, 2011