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Are the grandparents as close to baby #2 like they are with baby #1?

I have a 4 year old daughter and she is the center of my parents world. They cherish the ground she walks on. She has gotten to spend alot of time with them and I just wonder how all this is going to be when #2 comes along! I have heard them say before that there will never be another child like my daughter. Anybody else gone through this?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Feb. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I have 3 children and they are all treated the same. My oldest is the first grandchild on both sides so he was a little spoiled at first, although when my 2nd child was born 2 years latter it didn't change anything. The grandparents spoil both of them the same and when my 3rd child was born it was the same thing. I guess in my family no child is treated different than a nother child. grandparents love them and treat them all the same.

    If they didn't treat them the same I would say something so that they would know.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 1:30 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I am the grandmother of 6, soon to be 7, and every one of them is loved and doted upon. They are all different, of course, and we relate to them in different ways, but every one is a blessing and a joy. I think it may be true that some people do show favoritism to a grandchild or even to a child, but I also don't think that is the norm.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:32 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I have 4, 2 girls and 2 boys, and the oldest is DEFINITELY the apple of my MIL's eye! FIL's favorite is our 2nd DD. They try to treat them all the same, though, in fairness to them. They try really hard. But sometimes, no matter how hard they try, you can still tell who the favorites are. We, as the parents, sometimes have to step in and rein things in a bit, but it's not like they outwardly tell the other kids that the oldest DD is their favorite, with the 2nd DD a close 2nd or anything. lol

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 1:38 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I have 5 kids, my parents have 13 grandchildren, my inlaws have 12 and they are all loved equally. It's kind of like parents - we all think that we can never love another baby like we love our first, but then it just happens. My oldest son was the first grandchild, when I was pregnant with #2 she used to say she was going to take my first and run away with him to Mexico (joking!). But then my second was born and she thought/thinks he is amazing. All 5 of my kids have a very close relationship with my parents, and with my inlaws.

    Answer by missanc at 1:44 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I'm probably one of the only ones to admit this but my son gets a lot more attention than my daughter. My ILs are really bad about it. I try to tell myself that he's 3 and can play with them and she's only 10 m and was a tiny baby the last time they saw the kids. But it's always "Hows (the boy) doing?" "What's (the boy) think of ______?" Hardly a word about our daughter. It's sad and I try to bring her up in the conversation to get them to talk about her and not just him.

    I don't know what to do about it-I make sure they are treated as a package deal (if they invite one child to something, they need to include the other) since they are so young. I know when they get older the grandparents can do more one on one things but right now BOTH kids have to be invited for us to accept the invitation.


    Answer by LuckyPlusOne at 1:49 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • My son is closer to my dad than my daughter, but that's due to life's circumstances. For his first two and a half years of his life my dad was not working so was around all the time. Then my dad went back to driving semi trucks (what he did before I was even a gleam in his eye). My daughter was born when my son was about 3.5 and she's never known Grampa to be home all the time like her brother was.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:54 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Oh, and on my husbands side of the family my kids are grand child # 7 and #10 of 14 total.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:59 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • i have a better question for you....

    are YOUR parents closer to your child than the fathers parents?
    my parents have always treated my son like he was gold,but my sons fathers parents act like my son doesnt exist....they never asked if he could stay the night at their place with 2 other grandkids,everytime i asked if they would watch him for a couple hours so i could go to the movies or the store or where ever with my sons father they would always come up with an excuse as to why they couldnt watch him.....but yet the other 2 grandkids were always allowed to stay the night over there,they always watched them 2 parents love my son more than anything in the world.......if i asked them to watch him for an hour or 2 they would as long as they were going to be home that night......

    Answer by SMALLfry05 at 4:00 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

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