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Stressed and depressed

things were going great. then dh lost his job. Mine was not enough to keep us afloat so we moved back to his parents so that he could go back to school, get a better job. Well, dh has a job now. and with his hours I am struggling to find one. His job alone is not enough, but while he is going back to school it will work. I really want to go back to work. I love my kids, and I wish that I could be content with being a SAHM but, I'm not. My inlaws have a large house... altogether though, there is 11 people living here. Somehow, I've become the housekeep and the cook for everyone. I could complain, but it wouldn't do anygood. If I don't clean up after everyone, then no one cleans up and I can't have my kids living in filth. I was doing good.. cleaning like crazy every day and keeping things tidy.. but litterally I was cleaning all day long. I haven't had a chance to spend time with the kids. They play and help with chores, but I don't get much time to just play or interact with them. We cannot move out yet. A. I need a job, and dh works all day. We cannot afford for me to go to work and pay daycare. Its find a job around dh's work hours, or don't work at all. B. There are no jobs. Literally, nothing. I might be able to get a waitress job at the restraint my brother works at, but not till April when things open back up. C. There is no place to rent. Rentals usually don't start becoming available till summer around here.

I am sooo depressed. I clean and clean and cook and clean and my morning, things are just so messed up again. Its like I never make any progress. When I worked, it was part time, but I was able to keep the house, spend time with the kids, take them out for little adventures, and do crafts, and spend time with friends all before I had to go to work. (worked evenings pt), and I loved my job so it felt like a break from the kids, and the kids were a break from work. and then I got a pay check.. yes it went all to bills.. but I had a paycheck, I had something to show for my efforts at the end of the day... now, I clean and clean and clean and have nothing to show for it. It might be 4 more months of this, and I just don't know how to handle it.

BTW, they have a total tally of 11 aminals as well, so between cleaning up after the cats and keeping the reptiles clean, and the dogs (who constantly pee in the house, luckly they do it on the lanolim floor, so I can clean it easily, but I end up having to mop close to 5 times a day... I have to get up to mop first thing in the morning before the kids get up. Normally my inlaws would just leave it and take care of it later... but A, yuck and B... I obviously can't do that!!

I don't know, I just need some encouragement. I'm just getting so depressed.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Feb. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • I am sorry you are going through this maybe just having an online job would/could help make you feel more mentally better about yourself??
    They obviously need someone to help with the housework but it should NOT be put all on YOU.
    Everyone should be accountable for their own crap.
    And the pets should be the responsibility of their rightful owners and that should not be ever put on YOU!
    Stand-Up for yourself Sweetie, don't be used!
    I'm here if you need me just pm me if you need a friend!

    Answer by Missikat75 at 3:25 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Why are you mopping every time? That's what paper towels are for! (I have a very incontinent Pekingese... I use a paper towel, never a mop. If I need to sterilize the floor, I use a wipe. Not a mop. Mops are actually less sanitary.)

    I would talk with the in-laws about training for the critters. And check out for new ways of looking at cleaning. The house does NOT need to be spotless!

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:26 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I mop it, because we have a crawler, slash walker int he house. I hate to just confine him to the only room that the dogs are not alowed, the living room.

    I think most of the stress is because I cannot stand clutter. It makes me feel very claustraphobic. Growing up, if the house was a mess, then my step dad was bound to hit somone. As a teenager and adult, if I was upset, or frustrated, I cleaned. my parents and dh's parents are also what you might call horders. They have a ton of things, and they won't part with any of it. Dh and I are the opposite. We have a hard time keeping anything. If we are not using it, we get rid of it. So we and the kids are very used to simplistic surroundings, and organization. MIL does not want to part or organize anything, so there is just piles and piles of stuff they don't use. The clutter actually gives me anxiety attacks.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:36 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I use a swifter wet jet to clean up instead of mopping up pee...but anyway I do feel for you because I have lived with my sister,her husband, my 3 kids bil's brother and his wife and kid and nothing to rent and no work to be found....All I can say is live one day at a time, do not give up, it will get better as long as you keep your eye on the big picture... A place to call your own, it can and will happen it just takes time.

    Answer by alotleft2do at 3:42 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Start cleaning up after your family, only. Once the summer, or warmer weather, hits; you can spend more time outside. Just ignore what is going on in the house. Sometimes you have to do that. Make sure you clean up after your family and let the others worry about themselves. As far as meals are concerned, put something in the crock pot. Let it cook all day. Also, when they are out, go through some things and get rid of it. Chances are they will not miss it. And just keep saving your money as you can. Something will come along and you will be able to get out soon.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 5:05 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

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