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how to fall in love again

hubby and I have been together for 8 yrs two of which we have been married , with all the stresses of everyday life , including us both having children to ex relationships ,I dont feel the same buzz ,my stomach doesnt flip over like it used to do ,how do you get that back ?

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Asked by loulou332 at 1:53 AM on Nov. 18, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • How to Fall In Love Again After You've Been Married 20 Plus Years ...

    Come visit me at and claim your free e-booklet. I’ve been married now for 27 years. I love my wife, Carlin, and feel blessed that we have ...

    Answer by vbruno at 2:18 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • fall in love again, and, for a change, actually be loved back ...

    And I think that’s a huge part of why I’ve never been able to really fall in love again since them. I have struggles in some parts of my life, ...

    Answer by vbruno at 2:19 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • How to Fall in Love Again and Stay There

    Making it work can mean everything to you and that special someone. But to make it work it takes both of you doing your part. By staying strong and working ... - 50k

    Answer by vbruno at 2:19 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I heard a family counselor handling this very issue. Loving someone is different than being in love with them. Loving them through the crazy times and fun times. It is rolling over in bed next to someone that you love and feeling safe and comfortable. Being able to overlook the quirks, habits and slop through the crazy world together. Love is not butterfly tummy's and romantic is being there through thick and thin. So many people divorce for this very reason....they were under the impression that Love and marriage would always be exciting and butterfly tummies...when in reality...sometimes love means retrieving an extra roll of toilet paper when a loved one is in need. Love is not always pretty! LOL

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 2:24 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • A book called STAYING IN LOVE FOR A LIFETIME. It is a great book.

    Answer by jessicamelia83 at 7:01 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • My advice: My DH and I were struggling and I started reading old love letters. I looked at old pictures (we've been together 19, married almost 17) remembered old times. Try to make a little time to be alone with him and remember all the good times. But I can say that I still get butterflies when I hear him drive up, I know, corny! :o) But during the hustle and bustle of every day life we can lose sight of the important things. GL

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:36 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • My co-worker had a great conversation with me about marriage - she is on her second (and a wonderful marriage) but she learned a lot from the mistakes of her first marriage. She actually said, "nuture your husband in your 30's or he won't be there in your 40's." I thought how true a statement that is. Her husband had several affairs. Not because they lacked a sex life, she said they never had problems there. But they were just not connected emotionally and she didn't pay attention to that part of her marriage. So now she has standing dates with her husband, they have a great sex life (in their 50's), and she makes sure they talk, and they have activities they do that they enjoy together. Their work schedule is crazy. Its like they are two ships passing in the night. She says its about quality of the time spent - not the quantity.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:55 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • mommascoocoo is right. Love isnt' the feeling of butterflies. It is what happens once you get past the butterfies. It's the enmeshment of the two lives that blend very well and are comfortable with one another and the comfort in knowing this person is the complement of who you are. You never know about the butterflies. That could just be gas anyway! LOL

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:01 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I think it is a combination of what mommascoocoo (and admckenzie) and Austinsmom35 say. I think over time, you had a deep committed love for each other that goes beyond butterflies. But it also helps to remember WHY you fell in love in the first place. Reading those old love letters and then TELLING him how dear he is to you and how much in love with him you still are - will rekindle those same feelings in him. It's easy to get caught up in the drudgery of everyday life of getting dinner on the table and bills paid - those feelings get buried and almost forgotten. It takes some effort to keep them alive and close to the surface.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:13 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Something that helps me to feel that new love feeling again is to relive the days when we first met. Listen to songs that were played on the radio at that time (really helps). Have someone watch the kids over night and spend the night at a place that has a whirlpool. Fill it with bubbles (fun and helps hide your insecurities), light some candles, and share a glass of wine. The rest just falls into place. Oh, and before you spend time in the whirlpool, go out to dinner or share a picnic at a park. It helps to let things build up in anticipation! If you can't afford the night out, fill the tub with bubbles...

    Answer by LilyBee at 12:47 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

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