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3 Bumps

Is it acceptable to have a baby shower where people pay for their own food?

My friend and I are throwing my baby shower together.
And neither of us are really rolling in dough if ya know what I mean.
I was told by my mother in law that she provided cake and beverages, and if you wanted to order food it was at your expense.
Is this acceptable? Or would that make me seem super cheap-o and rude?

Answer Question
Nikki B.

Asked by Nikki B. at 6:08 PM on Feb. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I would not want to host such a party, but it may be perfectly acceptable to the younger generation. I'm finding my sense of propriety doesn't always mesh with the modern way of thinking.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:12 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Any time someone at work is having a baby we always throw a shower for her. We have it at a local restaurant and we go all out with decorating, having a nice cake, and favors, but we do ask everyone to buy their own meal. It's always worked for us. We are all real close at work and we even have the new mom to be invite her mom. The only person that doesn't pay for their meal is the mom to be and her mom...we ask everyone else to chip in for their meals.

    Answer by MommyH2 at 6:13 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Oh yeah, we invite the mom to be's MIL too and pay for her meal as well

    Answer by MommyH2 at 6:14 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • you can do it @ a resteraunt if you want . or you can have just cake and beverages by having the shower around 2:00 in the afternoon. that way they have already had lunch and there is still time before dinner

    Answer by princesschilly at 6:14 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I think it is acceptable if it is at a pizza place or what not.

    Answer by dragonqueen at 6:14 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • If you're having a baby shower at a restaurant or like pizza place, heck ya, people order their own food. If these are your 'friends' you are inviting, they should understand your financial situation and don't NOT have a baby shower because you can't afford it. It's very considerate of you to do this for her, and regardless of where you have it, get help from the others...OR, make it a special 'surprise' pot luck and have everybody bring something. that way, you spread the expenses and everyone participates.

    Answer by Peglet0333 at 6:16 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I would have it at my own home or my friend's home, but we both have very little space. Little apartments, you know that starter apartment for young people. lol We're both 20.
    Nikki B.

    Comment by Nikki B. (original poster) at 6:19 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I'm normally all for being practical, but I would call this just plain tacky.
    if I was invited to a shower where I was expected to pay for my own food, then I doubt if I would attend.

    I can understand not rolling in dough, but you couldn't have it be a brunch? eggs aren't expensive, or serve pasta.

    sounds to me if you can't afford to feel people, then you can't afford to host a shower

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 6:22 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I say no- it can get pretty expensive for the guests (especially if they have the same type of income as you) if they have to provide a gift, and pay for their own food and drinks, I know I couldn't afford it. What about having the party at someones home and asking your friends to help out by bringing a dish to pass?? If you do decide to have them buy their own meal, make sure you let them know in advance.


    Answer by skittles1108 at 6:22 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I don't think it's acceptable. The people attending are already bringing gifts.

    Answer by MomMom23 at 6:26 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

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