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Not so worried about what mommy thinks. so sue me.

warning, I'm in a bad mood. venting.

you're probably seen posts from me before.
Long story short, I'm close to my niece who is now 7 and mommy doesn't like it. A lot of this came from my being there for her when mommy wasn't interested in her. She was expecting a boy, while I was ecstatic that I got the niece I'd waiting for all my life.

so anyway, there's been years of drama but it has gotten better.
well, my niece is a little diva drama queen and I'm sure a good part of that is my fault. I love her to death, but that's how she is. She over reacts to just about anything and everything. that's the way she is, and I love her. :)

so another school activity is coming up, and I imagine that mommy would like me to say away.
Myself and DH have no intention of doing so.
they've expressed a interest of us letting them know when we'll be there, and I've told them that I'll do my best. Seems to be that she thinks she can tell us to stay home.
she can, but we won't.
I've spoken to her husband about this, and he's always said the same. that school activities are open to the public, so no reason to clear it with them.
Then I get a letter that is allegedly from him claiming 'concern' about us showing up.
yeah well, mommy needs to realize that I can tell the letters she writes and the ones he does.
Hate to tell you this mommy, but your DH does NOT sign off on his letters the way you seem to think he does.
there are activities that they do that we don't attend, so they have their time when it's just them at these things.
I realize that my Drama queen niece may be claiming that she doesn't want us to go, but she does that just about every time that someone else is going to attend these things. then she's so happy she could burst when you are there.
she's like that about just about anything, she gets cranky that she doesn't want to do it, then later she's thrilled.
I swear she gets her temperament from my husband!!!!
Sure, my niece is mommy's daughter, but I'm not going to go along with this stuff and be the one who's asked one day 'why didn't you come to my stuff at school?' you know that will happen one day.

so as far as making mommy mad, then so be it.

I know the popular view point is that I should do all I can to keep mommy happy. Mommy is not my main concern, my niece is.

as uncooperative as I sound, I go with whatever mommy wants in almost any case.
but when it comes to situations like this, where she really can't keep me from attending most likely, then I will attend if I wish.
the reality is that I really don't need her permission.

there. I feel better now.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Feb. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You go girl, don't need any ones permission!

    Answer by older at 7:35 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Why would you IMAGINE that mommy would want you to stay away,? Did some new thing occur that is affecting the mother (mommy)? Is this any different, from other times, since you say she lights up when she gets away with others' out, and all that exitement stuff going on. Is this a good thing for the little girl diva drama queen, than that is all the drama she needs : ) It shouldn't matter the mom would more than likely love this. (In "my'' book )

    Answer by coffeeyum at 7:35 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • hmmm. if it's a school activity why the letter??

    Answer by coffeeyum at 7:36 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • You should be there for your niece, that's what aunts are for. One of my neices thought I was her mother until she was 4! Her mom didn't "have time" to spend with her, so I did it. I went to meet her teachers, take her to cheerleading practice, church, took her shopping, and tons of other things that her mom never took the time to do.

    Answer by PhoenixsMommy10 at 7:39 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • You sound stalkerish. Sorry, but you do. If you were doing this to me I would get a restraining order. You are not the parent. And I don't understand the reasoning. WHY do they not want you to attend?

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 8:10 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • 'hmmm. if it's a school activity why the letter?? ' Because my SIL thinks she can tell me what to do I guess.
    I get letters asking for us to let her know when we will attend so that she's not surprised when she sees us at events that she wanted to be 'just them'
    which is where I think she has the idea that I will only go after getting permission.
    and BTW once upon a time I agrees to try out the idea that we would go to things when we were asked to go, but a year went by and we weren't asked to anything. I spoke to my BIL about it (husband's brother) and he seems to no know there was any issue, and just told me to come to whatever school function I wished to go to.
    which is why the letters that are supposed to be from him are such a joke, she must be writing them and then putting him name on it.
    I don't tell my BIL about that because I try to stay out of the middle of their marriage stuff.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:43 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • 'You sound stalkerish. Sorry, but you do. If you were doing this to me I would get a restraining order. You are not the parent. And I don't understand the reasoning. WHY do they not want you to attend? '

    what you say is stalkish, I call being a supportive aunt. I know I'm not the parent, like I said, I have permission from one of her parents and I didn't really need that.
    as for why they don't want me to attend, Mommy wants these things all to herself, but parent or not, she doesn't have the right to tell me what to do.
    Like I said, there are many activities that I don't attend.

    restraining order? are you kidding?
    you would actually go and file a restraining order against someone supporting a school function? in a world where so many kids aren't loved enough, any judge who would grant it because someone was going to school functions should be removed from the bench!
    you sound illogical. sorry, but you do. :)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:15 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • how many kids do you have? maybe you need to add 1 or 2 more so you have something else to occupy your time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Feb. 15, 2011