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Asking those with handicapps about it.

when I was little I went trick or treating with the girls next door. At pretty much our first house there was a man who was missing a hand for whatever reason.
I'd seen a lot of old movies where people had hooks when they were missing a hand, and I'd seen captain hook. So I asked the man if he had a hook for his arm. He said he did, and told us all about the different things he had and used to help him with this handicap.
The other girl's mother confronted my mom about how she 'needed to talk to me about that' that it was very wrong for me to ask such a question.
the next week my mother saw this man's picture in the paper, he was a public speaker about how to be at ease with the handicapped.

what do you think?


Asked by ItsMe89 at 11:30 PM on Feb. 15, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 25 (23,130 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would rather a kid talk about it than to stare, that is just impolite. It is better to be informed; than to be ignorant.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:37 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Personally I have no problem with it. I only have one eye, though I do have a very natural looking prosthetic, and I've shown my son's friends my 'fake' eye, taken it out and let them see in my eye socket (no it's not glass, it's plastic, and it's not round, so it won't roll around). But I'm very comfortable about it, I've had it for just over a year.

    Honestly I think a kid asking through their natural curiosity is better than the parent doing the stage whisper and making it seem taboo or 'wrong' or something to be ashamed of. And that goes for the handicap and the curiosity. If the person is uncomfortable talking about it that's all they have to say, kids don't need the details, and a simple "I was born this way" or "I was in an accident" or whatever is all they need.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 11:55 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I would rather my child ask out of curiosity then stare. Kids are naturally curious and as long as they are not being rude about it I don't see anything wrong with it.



    Answer by Charis76 at 11:44 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • To me, it depends on the situation. Outright blurting it is kind of something I won't respond to. Pure curiosity, I might give an answer but I have no stories of my situation. From birth... or "That's the way "God" made me." I'm still skiddish with my disadvantage so unless I bring it up, people don't outright ask. I've had kids ask my kids questions so I do have to explain so my kids won't be bothered by it. It beats all the staring. -Shrugs-

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 11:35 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • i think its absolutely natural for kids to ask questins my aunt is missing a leg and loves when little kids as her about it

    Answer by suhweetness at 11:36 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • I think for a kid is best to talk about it not making a big deal or making like the persons needs pity My daughter was next to a little girl her own age who was in a wheel chair and she ask mom why is the little girl in a chair? I just told her everyone is different and some kids need a chair to move thats all she is just like you my daughter said ok and ask the little girl if she wanted to play the mom told me that was the first time she heard that and said that most moms just tell their kids not to look at her. IMO I think that is best that just stare and whisper.
    That is the way my mom told us about it in 4th grade one of my best friends was in a wheel chair and I really did not like it when people just stared she was awesome, also at 12 a guy who only had 1 arm taught me how to swim so in my eyes there is really nothing wrong with someone who for some reason is different.

    Answer by gou18 at 11:55 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Children are naturally curious, as are adults.

    If people see something different, they want to know what happened / what's different. People generally just want to learn or know.
    If you ask politely, most people won't mind.

    Answer by Piskie at 8:50 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • MOst people don't mind, they would rather you ask than to stare at them. My aunt had to have most of the left side of her face removed including her eye because of cancer and she wears an eye patch and little kids will quietly tells their moms that they see a pirate. She just smiles as the mothers are trying to get the child to be quiet.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:03 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • It is better they ask and see it as normal than get told they should not ask. That is how kids start to see it as strange or different. If you let them ask questions like they do about everything else than it is normal and they will treat those people like normal people.

    One of my twins noticed the difference in a down syndrome child at school and asked me why her eyes where that way. I told her that we are all different and she was born like that. My daughter than told everyone that she wanted pretty eyes like that girl. She still tells the girl every day how pretty her eyes are.


    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 10:15 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • You did nothing wrong, but the other girl's mom crossed the line. 

    My father was frequently asked how he lost his fingers and it never bothered him.


    Answer by beeky at 10:27 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

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