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Hubby hides a purchase from you..

How would you handle it.?

It isn't something to do with anyone else.. Just something he bought for himself.. but really shouldn't have. Also wasn't very expensive...

Cigs... He was quitting smoking.. until sunday. When he went into the grocery store and suddenly bought cigs. I found out on sunday afternoon. He however didn't tell me till today(Wendsday)!

 
2boys4momma

Asked by 2boys4momma at 9:03 AM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,513 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • What might also help him, is buy this book: Quit smoking the EasyWay--by Allen Carr. He is one of the best authors and have countless clinics around the world..and this book DOES help! (guilty for not finishing it yet)..lol..but it has known to really work by getting down to the core reason for not quitting. Your hubby might have been having a hard time with withdrawls--they are not fun, trust me. Sigh..this is a really hard subject. I think there should be clinics like AAA--for alocoholics. So many see smoking as a "habit" and not an addiction--but it IS. There should be clinics for ppl trying to quit smoking--and it should be taken as serious as drinking--even tho smoking is not "mind altering" and to me, drinking is worse. Anyhow..sorry to write so much, but hang in there. ITs better that he cares and tried to hide it, rather then just not caring--and lighting up right infront of your face...that might not make sense tho..l
    psychicRaelene3

    Answer by psychicRaelene3 at 11:49 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • For something like cigarettes I wouldnt make a big deal about it myself. Obviously he was ashamed he went and bought them and didnt want to tell you. If my dh bought anything big though, and didnt tell me I would probably fly off the handle. I do all the bills so I need to know what is being spent and what isnt so our bank account doesnt overdraft./
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:05 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • oh, my,,,, been there done that, and MILLIONS OF TIMES!,,,, i was actually pissed,,,, cause it was for his health that he HAD TO QUIT,,,,i know how you feel, but you need to tell him that,,,,, smoking is so hard to quit, we both smoked but are proud to be SMOKE FREE NOW FOR YEARS!
    gardenchic

    Answer by gardenchic at 9:05 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • When he quits he needs to be able to quit on his own terms. He can't quit until he is well and ready. Good luck to him, I have haerd it is a rough road trying to quit!
    Mommyto2LilMen

    Answer by Mommyto2LilMen at 9:08 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • So You wouldn't be upset that he hid it from you.. I mean I was in the car when he went in to the grocery store.. Why didn't he come out and say.. something? I used to be a smoker.. I know how hard it is..

    You wouldn't be upset at all.. about him sneaking around for several days hiding the smoking from you?

    His doctor told him he needed to quit.. So you wouldn't be worried that he is back to doing this?


    I am not asking him to answer to me.. I AM ASKING OTHER WOMEN HOW THEY WOULD FEEL...

    And trying to live in an open honest relationship where people don't hide things from one another.. IS NOT THE SAME AS ME TRYING TO BE HIS MOTHER!!
    2boys4momma

    Comment by 2boys4momma (original poster) at 9:35 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I would be disappointed that he started smoking again, and hurt that he felt like he had to hide things from me. For everyday purposes I would not care what he bought, but I can see how this is not everyday. Good luck to your hubby in really kicking the habit. (c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:43 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • my husband just lies about his.....the price is not what he actually paid for it. That is why I handle the checkbooks and make sure the bills get paid because my husband spends stupidly without thinking.
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 10:14 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • He just didn't want you to be disappointed in his weakness. It's male pride. I wouldn't be upset about the purchase. I would be more concerned about why he suddenly felt the urge/need to smoke. I'd want to help.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 10:21 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I would feel angry as hell. I hate smoking and have no tolerance for it.
    That being said. I know he is having a hard time and your bitching is not going to help him get through it. He knows what you feel. You do not need to tell him.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:25 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • again I point out.. I AM DISCUSSING WITH WOMEN.. NOT MY HUBBY.. I have actually not said anything "bitchy" to him..

    I actually told him I was disapointed.. but I loved him and it was his choice. I also told him that he had been so proud of himself.. I was suprised.. And that he had done so well..

    2boys4momma

    Comment by 2boys4momma (original poster) at 11:13 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

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