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Should i tell my sisters

My DH and I got back together a few years ago. It was nice at first but we've battled some of the same issues. Both of us have changed and in some was things are better. But there have been major issues that I have hid from everyone including my family. Our relationship has been abusive on both sides. I am trying everything to save this marriage but I have come to terms with the fact that I might not be able to. I can only change me and I am not sure if my husband will. I can't tolerate the emotional abuse anymore. It rips me apart. And I have to be a mom to my girls. Should I talk to my sisters about this? I am so hestitant because I think they will hate him and want me to leave right now. They have hated him before and I know they doubt us anyway. I hate to open up a can of worms if things get better. The truth is I am lonely. I just feel lost.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • It is hard to be alone. You need an outside person to talk with and share. I am afraid your sisters would bring more drama to the plate.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:59 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • You should talk to someone. I would say try calling the DV hotline and talking to the people there about where you can get some support and how to broach this subject with your sisters. I was in a bad relationship for MANY years and realizing it is hurting you is the first step in the right direction. Dont give up. And remember, your kids are learning about what a healthy relationship is from you and their dad. if they see you fighting and being hurt they will think it is normal. You need to get out of there asap. The only way my ex changed was when I left him. I never went back, but he did change for the better and in time was able to make something of himself, but never really has had a healthy relationship with a woman. He is on wife #4.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:59 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • your sisters would be right. even if you don't fight in front of your kids they still feel the tension... it's not healthy for you or your kids. and if you don't talk to your sisters about it you should at least talk to someone about it.
    lashes325

    Answer by lashes325 at 10:02 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Let it all out with your sisters, they have your best interest at heart, without counseling this marriage will go no where.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:04 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • You need to speak with an impartial person. I in courage you to take action right now and call 1800-799-SAFE(7233)!!!!!
    I will be praying for you. Hugs!
    liteofmine71

    Answer by liteofmine71 at 10:09 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • My marriage was emotionally abusive, and verbally toward our son. I leaned on my sisters and my mom. But it wasn't hidden from them either - they witnessed many instances, and I told them others. I think if you have a support system, lean on them when you need to. That's what people do that love each other. It's hard to go it alone and get the emotional stability you need to plow through if you leave him. But you WILL do it. Best wishes.

    If you ever need to chat, hit me up.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:28 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • They may be waiting for you to open up and own up to what they already know.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:36 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • It is hard when dealing with this and needing someone to talk to and when you talk to family and if you do not make the changes they think you should it can cause drama for everyone. I love this site for that reason because you can find groups that have others that are dealing with or have dealt with the same thing and often times they can be helpful If you can find an impartial person to talk with that might be for the best for now. If you decide you can't do it anymore and know you will be done then I would go to your sisters for the support you will need at that difficult time so they can help you.
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 11:59 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I wouldn't care what they think, you need to talk about this and I have been there..had 3 girls and married to a man who didn't want to make the same efforts as me and was abusive...being a mom comes first. You will have struggles being on your own and you need to focus on you and those kids not what others opinions are
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:11 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • if it was me, I'd speak to a counselor or a pastor or another trusted friend. I'd trust your gut and not bring your sisters into it at this point.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:21 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

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