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Let's try this a different way! adult content

The other day I asked 'does your spouse keep promising to change".. And I got the answers ranging from 'I wouldn't ask him to change' ...'I knew what I got when I marred him'..
The thing is my husband is not forth coming with oral sex. He gets into it occasionally. I tell him I am frustrated and he promises to change. This is a nice calm conversation. I don't threaten to leave him or with hold sex. I love the man. And yes btw I have a vibrator. It works fine.
My question was about change.
How to encourage, reward or give up on it? My husband has changed in many ways I know he is capable of this. Yet I still have a hard time asking him to do it. So yeah some of it is me.

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Asked by mmmegan38 at 10:20 AM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 29 (39,651 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Maybe it needs to be put on the calendar. I am serious.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:23 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Maybe he just doesn't like it, I wouldn't stress over this,, I guess its kind of like asking someone to start liking spinach,LOL! If this is the only thing that is wrong,, I would just hang on to that vibrator, LOL!

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:25 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • You encourage it by giving what he wants. You encourage it by finding out what he objects to and then trying to change that thing.

    And if neither of those work... then you stop worrying about it and accept what you've got. Mine HATES oral sex. Doesn't like getting or giving it, and nothing at all entices him into it. I've learned to live without. Of course, I live without everything since his motorcycle accident in 2004! Having him ALIVE is more important to me than sex is.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:27 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I heard about this book and a couple was having problems regarding not just sex but different types of sex in the marriage like oral etc. They made a point to have sex every day and it was on the calendar and they would put down oral sex lol or whatever on various days. After a year they were much closer and could really tell each other anything. I dont know if it would work and dont remember the same of the book but hey some say it works.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:30 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I have found change happens at a snail's pace but it does happen...just takes time

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:08 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • maybe it just needs time.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:22 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

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