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2 Bumps

DH is always bugging me about money?

We agreed that I would not return to work and be a SAHM now he says that we cannot afford for me to stay home but he just went out and bought an iPod nano which was $160......

I am going to go insane...

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Amanda11810

Asked by Amanda11810 at 11:01 AM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (6,780 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • men are not bright..well least mine. mine also wants me to stay home with the kiddies which is great but then complains when we dont have 300 just laying around. my dh works hard and has a good paying job but winter time his hours and check are cut in half. i showed my dh the bills ( electric,cable,mortage ) and then showed him a check deposit he thought well we still have a lil left over...i said yes u would think but remember...xamount also needs to be taken aside for his child suport. my dh say the light. as for yours i would tell him heres the deal u want me to be home so u cant just go out and buy.....that money u spent couldve gone to.......( food, cable, elctric....) and that he will make more stress for you. best of luck hunny. men tend to act like coconuts...hard shell but all watery inside. :)
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 11:12 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Can you afford to stay at home, or does he have a point? Are you able to pay all the bills without worry? Do you have enough for savings? You know the answers to these questions (or you should). So if you truly can afford to stay home, do your home work and crunch the numbers. Then sit him down and show him that it does make financial sense for you to stay home. On the other hand, if the numbers prove you really can't afford it, you should be willing to bend too.
    SuperChicken

    Answer by SuperChicken at 11:18 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Tell him how much daycare would cost, and the fact that your child will catch more germs, and there are also problems sometimes about neglectful daycares. Then do the math..if half or over half of your payments goes to childcare, than staying at home is worth it.

    And if he complains about money, but then buys himself an expensive phone or gadget, then he needs to get over himself. My hubby started to complain for awhile.but i've always been self employed. He always makes more then me and my money is basically used for savings.spending, etc....and I also remind him that if I wasn't at home, the house would not be as clean as it would, nothing would get done, and he always gets dinner. ;) Plus, if school is ever out or snow days, etc...I would have to always leave work. By staying at home, there is no worries about that. If she gets sick, I cannot get fired. If she gets out early, I am home for her. and pets are taken care of.
    psychicRaelene3

    Answer by psychicRaelene3 at 11:32 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • When my husband started this, I said fine I'll go to work again. Three quarters of what I earn will go to daycare and the rest will go to put gas in my car. You can take off work when he spends at least the first year of daycare sick from all the other kids whose parents drop them off sick. He got smart about this issue very fast. I did the numbers. I called around and it wasn't hard to see what needed to be done. If working will not help the money situation, if you're working just for the priviledge of paying a daycare to watch your child, you're wasting time and money. He blew any amount of credibility on this situation when he went out and spent $160 on an iPod of all things.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:34 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I understand.... we just got our tax return and have just one car...but dh has a new rifle and snowmobile and the new snowmobile needed new helmets...we are both not working and really this money should be saved but ... no he says he "deserves" this crap
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:04 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • i think what your husband is saying is that you staying hom eisn't helping be able to buy more of what he really wants rather then what he really needs. like food, gas, housing, electric. he's probably just sick and tired of all the money going to bills and nothing else of so called fun. i can see his point to an extent but paying for daycare and the cost of the rasing gas prices you will be working to pay for that and no much else. i made my husband start paying the bills so he can see that every penny counts and he doesn't go buy iphones and the such as much.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:11 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • It's amazing the different answers here and that the "men" are the problem. Keep it simple and the answer will be all to obvious ladies!
    First of all, if you agreed that you'd be SAHM, that's fine but what has changed for him to say that he can't afford it. Maybe he doesn't work enough or maybe that your not motivated enough to contribute to the home and life expenses. And more importantly, if buying a ipod Nano
    is a deal breaker for you to stay at home or not, then you should both sit down and find out if he can really afford to keep you at home or
    head back to the rock pile (work). Personally, I don't work cause I love what I do for my own company, the risk-reward has allowed me to provide a home and a fruitful life for my child. Also, if you wanted to be a SAHM, did you think that was a permanent life style? Nothing wrong
    with being a working mom! Now, don't forget to cook him a hot meal this evening, he was at work!
    NikkiVan1

    Answer by NikkiVan1 at 12:36 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Have the two of you done a budget? Time to do one if not; enlist a financial planner for neutral assistance.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:47 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I don't think anyone is saying the men are the "problem" as much as if a he is going to complain about not having enough money, buying frivolous electronics for himself is not the best plan. And really, the wife going back to work before the kids start school is only helpful if she is actually bringing in more money than she is spending on daycare, gas, clothes for work, insurance and all the other things that go along with that. While there is nothing wrong with being a working mom, some moms don't see the point when not only are the children in a daycare all day, finances don't improve and the mom gets yet one more job on top of everything she has to do at home and the time to do everything gets cut in half.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:00 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

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