I was the youngest of me and my sister. I know what it is like to be constantly hounded, abused, picked on, teased, beat up, etc... as a younger sister. We were born 13 months apart.
I also understnad it must have been hard for my sister to have to share the attentions of my parents while growing up, despite most of the attention was being yelled at or whipped with a belt.
So, when my son was 3 and I got pregnant, I knew we had some battles ahead. When the baby first arrived (my son was 4 then), I made sure he was given attention by myself, DH , friends and family. I wanted to avoid, as much as possible, him getting jealous. The first year was great. He adored his littel brother, they played, I was so happy. I am not sure when things went bad, but they are SO ugly now! My oldest tells me he hates his brother, he wants him to die or just go live wiht someone else.... all because his littel brother wants to play with his toys! My oldest is insanely obsessed and possesive of his trains. I found it fair to keep those off limits from baby brother, as long as they could share the rest of the toys. I have been battling this for a year now and I am at my wits end. Daily he is yelling at hsi brother accusing him of 'sneaking and stealing' his trains when hsi brother is no where near them! If it isntt that, he is being super bossy or stealing toys from little brother, and has even hit him a couple times.
It reminds me of exactly how my sister was to me. Im so heart broken. I dont want to constntly harp on my oldest to be nice to his brother, but his littel brother is too young adn littel to defend himself, kwim? I have had conversations, asked questions, done everything I can think of to make things fair between them, adn nohing is working. I am ready to take us to family counceling.. I think there are some real issues with my oldest. He has big anger/ misrust/ paranioa issues. I am really trying to figure out why. We havent been perfect parents, but i cannot imagine we have raised him in an environemnt to cause him to feel this way. I had a horrible upbringing and I want the exact opposite for my kids. Lately though I have been losing my temper because I justt cant handle him being rude and not listening. I am not sure if its jealousy of his brother or what, and I feel really sad for him.. We just had a nother baby boy and he is soo in love with him. I dont get it.
He is such a smart and helfpful kid . I also worry because now he is hating school and all he ever wants to do is play. I mean.. REALLY hate school, to the point of crying. The teacher says he is great in class and everyone really likes him.. Im so confused. The thing is, I knwo he is such a caring and sweet kid...
What do I do?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Feb. 16, 2011 in General Parenting
Answer by older at 11:14 AM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by mommy_jules at 11:18 AM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by justanotherjen at 11:22 AM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by gdiamante at 11:25 AM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by Christmaslver68 at 11:28 AM on Feb. 16, 2011