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Is my husband jealous?

My 14.5 daughter and I have a typical give and take, teen-mom relationship. Last Friday she and I went see a play at her h.s. together. Then last night she started feeling ill, and asked if I would sleep in her room with her. Today I am staying home with her because she has a bad cold or flu.
My dh asked me this morning if I was "dating" my daughter because of aforementioned events. That comment really hurt my feelings, and am still recovering from the same illness, I reacted emotionally. An hour or so later after he was at work, he called our home to ask me what else was I going to today (aside from buying bread from our local outlet.) I rattled off a list of things I would try to do today. Is he really that clueless? Since he's rarely taken care of sick child and doesn't realize how draining it can be. Did I overreact, and how would you have reacted to this situation? Thanks!!!

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iluvtea

Asked by iluvtea at 11:12 AM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (66 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I wouldn't say he's jealous... maybe annoyed? I think at 14.5 years you don't need to give her as much attention when she's sick as you do for a much younger child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I didn't think about it that way. She rarely asks for my help, and I usually don't stay home with either her or my son when they are sick. Thanks for your reply.
    iluvtea

    Comment by iluvtea (original poster) at 11:21 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I agree with Anon! I wouldn't say it's jealousy. I would just shrug it off and tell him it's a natural instinct to want to take care of your child when they are sick! Me personally, I would tell my husband to get over it because she's my child! Don't take it personal, maybe he's stressing about something and taking it out on you and the situation. ;o)
    alyssamal

    Answer by alyssamal at 11:23 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • it sounds like he's not so much jealous of your dd, but more the attention she's been recieving. When was the last time you two went on a date?
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 11:26 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Let him know that it's important for mothers and daughters to have "alone time". It's nothing against him. You need to keep the lines of comunication open with her if you are going to help her through the rest of the teen years. The closer you are to her now, the easier it will be for the next 5 or 10 years. Maybe suggest that he have alone time" with your son, that they do "man things". They can try archery, bowling, hiking, anything that men do together. Is the son in sports? Dad can go to events, cheer him on, then take him for pizza afterwards. The father-son relationship is just as important. Don't let him wait too long to start the bonding.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 11:56 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Maybe he's not so much jealous as concerned you slept in the bed and took care of her your 14.5 yo daughter? You should do whatever you feel she needs and what you are comfortable with, but I can see him being confused by that... The date night was nothing to be jealous or upset about though...you should spend special time with your daughter! I would just talk to him so you can figure out what exactly he is upset about.
    CollinsMommy729

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 12:15 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • sometimes guys just talk.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:17 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • ~*Smiles*~... guessing it isn't HIS kid??? might just be his sense of humor? My husband used to poke at me, but would later state he was just trying to get my goat...

    Doesn't really matter whether it is his kid or not as long as he's "daddy" the rest of the time... my husband has never made my eldest son not feel like he wasn't his father!!! Than again easy not to considering he actually raised him... and no different than our 3 and 5 year old we have together
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 12:21 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Jealous? No. Confused, maybe. I too don't understand why you'd stay home with a teen who has a cold. She'll probably sleep the day away. Just make sure she has plenty of liquids and tissue and go on with your day. Have you been this sheltering in all of her 14.5 yrs?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • he is a guy...there are alot of guys out there that dont want anyone else getting the attention but themselves!!!
    kids are the same way for the most part.....he needs to understand that taking care of sick children or even just one sick child is exhausting!! you take care of the child no matter what the age,you go around the house disenfecting everything he/she touched and then some......you are also making sure the house is cleaned,and dinners ready when everyone comes home....its a hard job being a mom but its well worth it.....men just dont see it that way.....
    SMALLfry05

    Answer by SMALLfry05 at 12:23 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

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