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How do you deal with bickering sibs?

My sons are 4 and 6. The second my older one gets off the bus, he's picking on the little one. The two go back and forth starting fights from 4pm til bedtime. I can't stand it! What can I do?


Asked by MrsT6102 at 10:23 AM on Nov. 18, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • my friends dad used to make her and her brother go sit onthe front porch and hold hands till they stopped.

    Answer by teri4lance at 10:45 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I've seriously considered doing what my uncle did to my cousins. Bear in mind I'm 31 and my first cousins are in their late 40s early 50s now... so this was a different time. My uncle used to take the 2 who were fighting, get one of his belts, sit them back to back on the floor and "belt" them together until they could apologize and get along! lol I haven't done it yet, but I've certainly threatened! lol

    Answer by praisinghim2day at 10:33 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I have made my kids hug for 5 minutes. It's like being put in the corner, except their sib is the corner lol. I also have banned them from speaking, put them both in the corner, taken stuff away if it's the subject of the fight, sent them to their rooms.

    Answer by teri4lance at 10:36 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Haha. We've tried making them hug AND kiss. It really embarasses them. They hate it! I guess I could revisit that. My aunt used to make my cousins read Bible stories to eachother when they were fighting. My kids are too young to read aloud to eachother, though. Keep the answers coming! :)

    Answer by MrsT6102 at 10:40 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • lol. my boys are only 16 mo. apart. i feel your pain! i like the hand holding on the porch idea!

    Answer by bestmommyeber at 11:11 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • My boys are the same ages, all the things I have read and heard is help them problem solve. It takes a while for them to learn but will save you a life time of bickering. When they are fighting, sit down with them and ask them to give you 3 suggestions to solve the problem. You will have to help them in the beggining with that part. Than ask them what they think will be the best solution. You make the final decision at first until they get the hang of it.

    Answer by perksmom at 11:24 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • conti
    Another thing is ignore it unless it is physical, you will end up being a referee the rest of there life at home if not. My mom still is with my brothers and she used to do the hugging thing to, which she also did with me and my sister which in the long run didnt work, just in short term.
    When you feel they have the hang of the problem solving just let them be and they will figure it out, do a refresher course every once in a while to make sure they dont forget.
    Another thing I do with my boys are House rules which are
    Nice hands, feet and words
    No whinning or screaming
    No is no stop is stop
    Any of these things and they get a time out with out me saying a word, I just take them to the corner and set the timer,
    They still have there days but most of the time they play wonderfully together
    Good luck

    Answer by perksmom at 11:25 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I have 3 DD's ages 6, 8 and 12. I have taught them all from an early age that they MUST take care of eachother! Friends come and go but sisters are forever and they are to look out for each other! Period! If I find out that they were not defending or looking out for each other, they get in big trouble because I feel this is vitally important.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 12:03 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • i have the same problem but i have 3 DD's that are good when its just 2 of them but all 3 all hell breaks loose so im goin to see what other answers you get

    Answer by puppet24 at 12:19 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • That's my problem, too! When each child is alone, they are perfect angels! They are sweet and polite and behave in public. As soon as they are together they are just MEAN. Its not about sharing or arguing. Its just them being mean to eachother for no good reason. Just for the sake of being mean. I don't understand it. I did threaten to make them hug at the dinner table tonight and they stopped bickering immediately. Hopefully that continues to work!

    Answer by MrsT6102 at 4:34 PM on Nov. 18, 2008