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3 Bumps

When should i tell them?

im divorced, have 2 kids 7 and 9. my current husband and i are expecting our first. he has an amazing relationship with the 2 kids. they call him dad. im about 7 weeks pregnant. when should i tell the older kids about the new baby? not sure how long i should wait. does anyone have any advice and also on exactly what to say to them. i dont want them to think that theyre being replaced or anything. my ex and the kids dont have a good relationship. he had another kid about a year ago and thats how they felt with his new one.

 
mykidsmom86

Asked by mykidsmom86 at 2:13 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 16 (3,115 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I told my kids at 12 weeks. then I had a miscarriage. It was truly horrible. I had 2 babies since then. I waited until I was 5 months before I told.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 2:20 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • i'd wait until the end of the first trimester, but make sure NOONE else knows before your kids (outside you and DH, of course), because that would feel like a betrayal...not to mention that it MUST be something NEGATIVE if you're hiding it (in a child[s mind)...
    Belovedmoonpixi

    Answer by Belovedmoonpixi at 2:20 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I would wait until at least 12 weeks
    Mommakat425

    Answer by Mommakat425 at 2:44 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • i waited til i was about 12 weeks to tell them. Bc i was so scared they would be upset. But they took the news very very well and have been so excited since. He is due next month and they cant wait to help with him. They are 8 & 4 btw.
    stevynjjsmoma

    Answer by stevynjjsmoma at 5:10 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I told my 5 year old daughter days withing finding out but I explained to her that something could happen and that the baby would go live with Jesus. She is a very mature 5 year old and I thought she should share in our happy news. This was a surprise pregnancy and there wasn't alot of excitement at first and I know by telling her she would bring out the best in it. I think you should do what you think is best for you and your family!
    saysmom

    Answer by saysmom at 5:07 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I always tell my kids before I tell anyone else (other than DH). I feel like they need to know first. I also know NOT to tell the kids before I am ready for everyone else to know. I don't think keeping it from them for any amount of time is going to help whatever feelings they may have about the baby. I think your approach on how you tell them and how you talk about the new baby will have more effect on them than the timing. You know you aren't replacing them, just like when you had your second child you were not replacing the first. Some feelings, on the kid's part, of displacement is normal even in non-divorced families. I think as long as they can express to you how they feel and you take their feeling seriously, they'll move past them easily. Congratulations to you and your family on your newest addition!
    fancyjane

    Answer by fancyjane at 7:16 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

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