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How I can get my things? *Kind of long*

I recently had to move back to the city to live with my friend, and all I currently have in my posession is some clothes. I didn't pick which clothes I got to take, my son's dad had to give bags of clothes to my mom, because I'm not allowed there - things did not end well with us and we aren't supposed to see each other - and I'm left with absolute crap. I have one or two nice outfits for job interviews, a couple of my "nicer" jeans and t-shirts, and the rest is junk (either clothes that have seen better days, clothes that don't fit, or "at home" clothes). Like I said, I have a couple outfits I can wear to interviews, but I have nothing I can work in when I do get a job.

The rest of my stuff is either at my dad's, in their rented storage space, or still at my ex's place. All three of those places are not in the same city I am in. I can't drive, so I'm not able to go myself to pick any of my stuff up myself. My ex is on his second DUI, so he can't bring anything here (not like he ever would anyway). I have asked my dad & my other parents so many times to PLEASE bring me my stuff, but they won't. My mom lives too far away and is too busy, and my dad just won't. I'm not asking him to haul everything I own out here in one day - just one or two boxes/bags every week or two.

I do eventually want all my stuff here, even though it's not a long-term living situation, because I want to downsize. I don't know how long I will be living here, so I want to take care of it before I go somewhere else. I want to go through everything I have and either sell or donate what I no longer want - that way when I DO get my own place, it will be less to move/store. Makes sense to me!

I told that to my dad, but he just refuses. He's afraid he'll have to move me back to their town AGAIN, but I have no plans of ever moving back there. When I leave here, it will be to another place in this city, and if he doesn't want to help me move beyond that, he doesn't have to. But I need my things here. I feel like I have nothing.

I have asked him politely to bring my stuff here. Just on a Saturday when he's free, to bring a couple of bins so I can go through those and get rid of things before he can bring more. They only live about a 15 minute drive away, so I am not asking a lot.

I should add that I have no friends with cars who are willing to help either. The friend I live with can drive, but he doesn't have a vehicle as he uses transit instead. Any friend I have who does drive is not a close friend, and most of them live much farther away than my parents do. I can't afford to take a cab or anything out there to pick anything up (that would cost around $100 at the very least).

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my family is witholding everything from me, like they're trying to make me do something... what, I don't know. I don't know how to talk to my dad about this to make him understand that I need that stuff. I haven't even seen most of my nice clothes (clothes I could wear to interviews or to jobs) for a year now, because of my dad.

What can I say to him?


Asked by AdensMama0308 at 2:21 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Level 24 (18,609 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Dad, if you want me to be independant and not move back home, I need your help. I need a job and won't be able to dress for one without my clothes. Please.

    Answer by Kimimale at 2:31 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I don't think you can say anything to him; he's made it abundantly clear he is NOT bringing your stuff to you. You could bring him to small claims court. Or write it all off and start over.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:31 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • The last time this happened (I lived with my best friend for 6 months previously and my dad only brought a few of my boxes here) I had to buy all new things. I was working then and could afford to do it. Now I have $10 and it's my last $10. I have been job-hunting for over a month now with no luck. I can't replace anything.

    Comment by AdensMama0308 (original poster) at 2:32 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • why don't you take public transportation to his home, go thru your clothes there and take what you can to your new place.

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:34 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I apologize in advance for possibly assuming, but you mentioned your ex has a DUI issue . . . . you can always go to an al-anon meeting. There is tons of support there, and you may meet someone who would be willing to drive you back and forth to get your stuff. I f you do have any sort of addiction in the past, you can go to AA . . . I am certain you can get some support there.
    That being said . . . . I don't even know if this pertains to you or not. If you are able to make some money, you could always pay someone to bring your stuff.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:37 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Another thing I should add: public transit from this city to theirs is extremely limited. It's expensive and only leaves from a point quite far from my house and from my dad's. The storage place where my stuff is kept is actually out of town, where I can't even walk to from his place.

    Comment by AdensMama0308 (original poster) at 2:40 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Even if you got from Point A to Point B, can you access this storage unit? Or would it be considered breaking and entering for you to do so?

    How about a church group or a social services organization?

    Or maybe an ad on Craigslist?

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:55 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Another thought... have your ex ship your stuff?


    Answer by gdiamante at 3:56 PM on Feb. 16, 2011