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how do i know if it is a rebound?

i waited almost a year after my divorce before trying to move on. never dating at all. about a months ago i met a really great guy so kind and understanding. for the past 2 months we have been dating. but i have noticed lately the i keep unintentionaly compairing him to my husband. i know my bf really does love me. he shows it in many ways and he says it often as well. How do i know if it is a rebound. he is the first guy i have dated since my divorce. it hought i have waited a good long while before moving on for the simple fact that i DID NOT want a rebound. He is a great guy he accepts i have kids and even when we go out he wants to bring them with us. My father says i am pushing him away. i duno what i think. but i do know i dont want to lose him. How do i know if it is a rebound for me? and what should i do to fix it?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Nov. 18, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • It doesn't seem like he's a rebound, but since he's the first person you've dated since your divorce, it's normal that you would be a little confused. Whatever happened between you and your ex-husband of course you will make judgements and comparisons because your afraid that your bf will be the same way. The best thing to do would probably be to talk to someone maybe your bf about your past relationship so that you can get over it instead of just bury it. Once you forgive and get over your past the better your future will be. He sounds a like a good person and someone you definitely don't want to lose. Don't push him away by being afraid to move on Don't be scared to take chances and open your heart to someone again. Good Luck Hun!
    ms.busybody

    Answer by ms.busybody at 12:46 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Don't worry about it. Just take your time and move slow. The real test is if he has the patience to move slowly with you and the understanding that this will take some time. I was the rebound for my boyfriend. His wife of 25 years left him for another man. He met me 4 months after she moved out. (Friends kept warning me I was rebound girl). But we fell in love. It took longer for us to get there. But I knew he was an amazing man and I was willing to wait and move slowly. A lot of rebound relationships don't work because the new person gets antsy wanting more sooner. The other one feels pressured and backs off. Just listen to your heart and see what happens.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:19 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • He maybe the "rebound guy" but that doesn't mean that things won't work out. My boyfriend was defiately the rebound guy....and here we are still together nearly a year and a half later & we now share a child together as well as the son I had from my previous relationship. Every now & then I catch myself compairing him to my ex...but in time it will stop. Be honest with him about how u feel and that you don't intentionally compare him to your ex...'cuz u know he is not him. Communication & honesty is a HUGE key in making it work. The rebound guy could end up being "mr. right" it was for me!
    Dabugg698

    Answer by Dabugg698 at 11:23 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • You could see other men and see how you feel about him after dating other men.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:28 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • yeah i wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket. just keep dating him and getting to know him. why wonder at this point and keep things very casual. there is no need to start classifying into a section in your mind to ruin the relationship. just live for each day and enjoy his company. i hope that you are not sleeping with him cause that could really confuse things. as far as comparing him with your ex i think that is normal and i do that still but it's not a bad thing. unless he is exactly like your ex. you may want to avoid men like your ex. good luck
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:36 AM on Nov. 18, 2008