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Any mothers have a child who is Gay or Lesbian??

How have you handeled it? If your child came out and said they were gay or lesbian, how would you react??

My son seems a little gay to my husband. I will not tell his age, but he is young. Maybe he will grow out of it. He says he likes boys, plays with my step daughters toys, and likes to put on her dresses. On the other hand, he plays with trucks, and watches Dino Dan and boy shows more. He doesnt seem "gay" to ME, but his step dad thinks he may be. Only really bc of the reasons listed above, and bc he would rather bake cookies than play video games..

If my son turned out gay, sure, Id be a tad bit upset, but would I shun him out?? NO WAY!

How would you react to your child??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (18)
  • Well his age does play a factor into this. People say my 19 month old will be gay because he does all the things you listed above. I read an article once that kids will be kids and that what they do as children does not determine how they will be as an adult or determine their sexual orientation. I wouldn't worry about how he's acting. He a child, let him do what he wants.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:46 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Oh I would love my child no matter what.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:46 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I don't know your son's age, but little boys, probably up to the age of 10 or 11, sometimes prefer to play with stuff that we consider "girls" and it doesn't really have any indication of which gender they will wind up being attracted to when the hormones kick in. A lot of men are very sensitive to their little boys playing with "girl" stuff, and it is really needless.
    That being said, if one of my kids wound up being "gay", I would be okay with it. I would only be sad for them that they would have to confront homophobia and hatred that our society places towards them. That would be hard to watch.
    I know this is controversial, but I truly believe that it is genetic . . . and I want my kids to be the best "them" that they can be. . . . whatever that "them" turns out to be.
    I would be more broken up if they wound up being criminals or hateful people. Then, I would feel like a failure.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:51 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • To go along with ImaginationMama - some boys play with girls toys (barbies, dolls) out of curiosity - to see whats underneath. All part of growing up.
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 2:53 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Depending on his age, it could be a phase. He could end up a Chef, dress designer or a Psychologist. At any rate, you stand by your child no matter what. Being gay is actually a physical thing that they can't help. It's in the genes. Let him be. Tell your husband that it's an unconditional love you have for your son and you prefer that he respect that. He can't change anyone else and shouldn't try. And if the boy turns out gay, it doesn't affect who you are or who your husband is. How you treat him now can and will affect him later on. Ridicule will only make him resentful. Let him know he's loved no matter what.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 2:54 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I suspected my son was gay from a very early age. He came out to me, but not my husband, when he was 14. Somehow he thought Dad would disown him. He was upset, but he came to terms with it. My sons Jr yr in HS a leader of an LGBT support group 'encouraged' him to come out publicly because it was 'tearing him up inside" I begged my son to wait. It isn't that I was ashamed, I was worried for his safety. I had good reason to worry. He came out to his best friend first. His 'best friend" beat him within an inch of his life. He was hospitalized for 3 weeks. It seems his best friend was afraid people would think he was gay too. They had been friends since they were 4. My son wound up home schooling for his Sr. year because school was just too painful for him. All I can tell you is keep an open communication line with your child as he grows. I routinely advise parents of gay teens to encourage them to wait until after HS to come out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I have a lesbian daughter, and she is the light of my life, when I first found out at 17 or so, I cried for days, then shook myself off and realized she didn't have a terminal illness and her sexual preference was something that came natural to her, no one in their right mind would choose a life this hard. As a child she was the opposite of her sister, never playing with dolls but instead chose to play with GI Joes, and boys toys, I never discouraged this but when you r child is 5 you never think about what their sexual preference will be, at that stage, she was just a child. I got out and met with other parents became involved with many organizations for homosexuals, met a lot of wonderful people and ended up counseling gay youth, who had been thrown out of their homes for coming out, parents spitting in their faces in disgust and literally kicking them out. I have seen the ugly side of some parents, and after many cont..
    older

    Answer by older at 3:05 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I would love and support them.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 3:10 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • years of this it still baffles me, specially the religious parents that say they love their children but will not participate in their lives, not know what damage this does to them, they would rather be holy than a parent, and this I will never understand. From what you stated your child is young, but specially when they exhibit these traits when they are young, you know his is not a phase. Either way, love that child with all you got and exhibit this love through your support, it is essential for them to thrive to know that their family is behind them and supporting.
    If he is or if he isn't one thing is for sure, he will always be the same son you gave birth to and spend years bonding with nothing should ever break this bond.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:11 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Oh goodness, these stories are hard to read about!! I hope that boy got in trouble for what he did!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:12 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

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