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what would you think or do

my son is fourteen and can be a little strange sometimes, but this tops them all. we have the basement fixed up and that is where his room is. well last night i went down there to ask him something and he is not there,so i come back upstairs and go inot his sister room he is not there we cannot find this boy anywhere and they are not allowed to leave the house of course without telling me. well finally i found him he was under my bed sleeping. this is not the first time this has happend. one night in the middle of the night i went to put wood in the woodstove and he was not there again i found him under my bed. i asked him why he just tells me i don't know. any one have any suggestion or ideas why he would be doin this cuz i dont

 
jodi205

Asked by jodi205 at 11:25 AM on Nov. 18, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 17 (4,145 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • i would first try getting the person that he trusts most, whether that be you or a best friend/girlfriend (etc.) to him. don't ask him flat out but try gaining his trust and seeing if he opens up to you. if he's been hostile about therapy then yes, as a last resort it may be necessary, but see if you can figure out the problem yourself first. if something is going on that's making him act like this then he is most likely scared and in need of the support of someone that loves him, even if that support isn't as direct as you've been trying for.
    BexDavis

    Answer by BexDavis at 4:18 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • For a teenager to go and sleep under your bed is a little odd. He's having anxiety over something and you need to find out what it is. Consider a counselor if he won't talk to you.
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 11:28 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • i have no idea but my first thought is that he might be comfortable in your room cause your his mother, im wondering why he cant just lay on top of the bed, but i know my brother who is in his teens only want to be left alone, if he was on top of your bed, would he be left alone? this is an odd situation!
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 11:40 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • That is very odd....You have to ask him if there is something bothering him or if something just makes him go under there because that is very odd for a teenager to do!!! Find out more info have him talk to someone else about it , if he feel he cant talk to you about it.....I hope everything works out and it isn't anything supernatural happening.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • yes it is very odd. he told me yesterday that he was under the bed because his sister who is one would not leave him alone. well first of all she is one its easier for her to reach you under the bed then on top of it and two his room is downstairs she can't get down there so go to your room. he is being really difiant lately here and at skool. i do try to talk to him i just get "i dont know". i have suggested counseling and he said he would run away and i believe he would i am at my wits end i just don't know. i have also tried to talk to his sister to see if she knows anything and she doesn't
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 11:59 AM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Do you suspect drug use at all?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • my husband suggested that. he sleeps alot, but the thing is he is up all night and sleeps alot during the day and i have not noticed anything strange about his eyes or anything i don't know i thought about taking him to get tested but that would be like taking him to counseling he would probably either get more of an attitude or run away. i mean as soon as he comes home from skool he is either going for a walk, we live in the country or going to bed
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 12:17 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I would try to talk to him alone or have DH talk to him alone depending on which one of you he usually opens up to more and ask "whats going on" instead of "why sleeping under the bed". If he says he would run away instead of going to counseling then there is something bothering him. My ds went through a patch where he has to go to a therapist when he was 9 and he kept saying he wouldn't talk to him but I just said that's fine, but it's my job to figure out whats bothering you and if you wont talk to me I have to try to get you to talk to someone else. Once he learned that the therapist would not tell me anything if it was not a danger to him he opened right up,it was hard for me to know that there were things he felt he could not talk to me about, it helped my son, and after awhile, he did agree to talk to me with the therapist.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Could it be that he's sleepwalking??? You said you asked him why and he said he didn't know, so this is the first thing that popped into my head.

    It could be that he's scared and just doesn't want to admit it, too!!! It very strange for him to be sleeping under your bed. He seems to feel secure there and finds it some kind of refuge from whatever he is scared about. Try to sit down with him and discuss what could be bothering him!!!!
    roselove7

    Answer by roselove7 at 4:44 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • The behavior he is displaying from a therapist stand point is regressive behavior. Now two things can cause this.
    1. Something traumatic happened to him and he is unwilling to say what it is.
    3. Something traumatic happened and you have an idea what it is (death in family etc).
    3. He is using drugs/alcohol ( a drug test would answer this)
    4. He is showing signs of an early onset of some sort of personality disorder.

    In any case I would try talking to him and if he isnt open to you then schedule him to see a therapist. If you cannot afford one then contact social services and ask for a referral to the mental health agency. They go on a sliding scale.
    Good Luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

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