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My husband is Bi. And Im ok with that, HOWEVER..... adult content

He has asked me to put makeup on him, and I flipped. I told him I dont mind that he is bi, and Ill watch bi porn with him, and use strap ons, but i refuse to have a threesome with a man, or put up with him wanting to act like a girl. Thats NOT my thing.

Having a bi husband is hard. Im not really bi, sure I think women are sexy, and maybe Id have sex with one (if I were super drunk) but Im not at all 100% bi. I just pretend that I am so it turns him on.

I am scared he will come out of the closet in the next twenty yrs or so...

Before I married him I knew he was bi, but it never occurred to me how bi he truly was. He spends more time in the mirror than I do!!

BUT he does like to go down on me, a lot. And we have great sex, but it weirds me out to see him use a toy.

I dont know how this will play out, but its beginning to freak me out. What if Im one of those women who has a truly gay husband???


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • wow, you are one brave soul, good luck to ya.

    Answer by older at 3:43 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Wow there is no way id be even remotely ok with that. That would be a huge turn off for me & I think I would be thinking in the back of my mind "is he gay?" Is this even for real?

    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 3:47 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • You will have to decide if you can deal with his sexuality or not.


    Answer by louise2 at 3:47 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I wonder about that too. My DH makes comments, and checks himself in the mirror a lot, and listens to music a straight man shouldn't, watches things a straight man shouldn't. He is very feminine compared to the other males I have been around. And I'm starting to wonder if he had sex with his friend or not just because of the jokes he makes. And he's not bi or anything, but I still wonder..
    I know how you feel, but I'm not really sure what to tell you. Except just talk to him about how you feel and try to stick things out. Maybe it will be better if he understands how you feel.

    Answer by febmom007 at 3:47 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Have you explained this to him?.. Have you let him know how you feel about all of it?. Maybe he will and maybe he wont. Just because he is bi doesnt mean he will come out of the closet to say hes fully gay... Think of it this way. At least he is comfortable enough with you to say and ask these things.....

    Answer by momof241988 at 3:47 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • This might be a good reason to go to couples counseling. You need to be confortable with all of that stuff, too.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:48 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Do you love him? Do you have any doubt that he loves you? I'm curious, you said you two use toys...but ummm has he been with guys? (I'm just asking because I have been hearing about guys who will use all kinds of toys and role play with their wives but will not be with another man). It does seem like maybe you should both sit down and talk, maybe lay out some ground rules.
    Sweetie, if you can't do it sober, it isn't worth doing. (just for future advice lol). Good Luck Girl, it seems that you have your work and acceptance cut out for you.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 3:50 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Oh wow. Hugs. I would you find your answers.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:51 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • PS sweetie ( I just reread what your question) If it turns him on that you are bi...HE'S NOT GAY. I have a few gay friends..and the opposite sex does NOT turn them on at all. Brightest Blessings hun.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 3:53 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Well, to be honest, I would have less of a problem with make-up than a strap on,,,LOL! If he is loyal to you (no cheating) I guess that because you knew going in that he liked men as well, and if he is a good Dad, I would try to indulge him a bit. I would think he probably is great to shop with!! I would have a real heart to heart with him, ask him if he is gay totally (it doesn't sound to me if that is the case). But being honest about your fear he will leave you will probably make him love you all the more, It really isn't different than staying loyal in a straight relationship,, good luck!

    Answer by kimigogo at 3:56 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

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