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If married, are single moms welcomed in your circle and is there any discomfort about her status?

I am the only single mom in my immediate circle, and I get along with most of the dads. When it comes to sports, I even prefer their company. Nothing has happened to force this question, but I always wonder what they're thinking when I'm with their husbands at gatherings, or when they're not around.

Answer Question
 
reveala

Asked by reveala at 5:04 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I'm married and I only have single friends.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:06 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • We have a couple single moms in our group and I don't think anything of it. I love my friends whether they are single or married and I trust them with my DH. We always have lots of fun together!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 5:07 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Okay, I don't want to misunderstand you, so I'm gonna ask a question before I answer; How much time do you spend as the only woman around these men as opposed to how much time you spend with the wives?

    Now, that being asked, I think it's inappropriate for a single woman to be hanging out with her friend's husbands when the wives are not around. SIMPLY because she is setting herself AND THEM up in a "rumors can start" kind of situation. It's opening a door that "Could" cause issues among marriages and/or friends. AND I think it's bad taste for a single woman to always be migrating towards the married men in a group of people, it makes her "Look" like she's hunting on illegal territory.

    P.S. on a personal note, if I had a girlfriend who confessed that she "Prefers my husband's company"... she'd be out of the circle pretty quick. If a woman wants to be "One of the guys" then find a group of single guys to be a guy with.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 5:17 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • The other thing I find awkward is how our times together become gripe sessions about their husbands, and they try to include me by telling me that "I'm so lucky to be alone." Helloo--these are choices we all made. From my perspecitve, their husbands are all wonderful and engaged in their children's lives--but I don't have to live them, either!
    reveala

    Comment by reveala (original poster) at 5:18 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • One thing I'm getting at is... What if one of the men starting thinking or acting inappropriately towards or about you? What if one starts talking about you TOO much when he's home with his wife and his wife starts to feel that HE's interested in being more than your friend? We have single friends, but there are lines we don't cross because we don't want there to even be room for anyone to think sideways about someone's intentions. We just feel it's safer for all involved if we don't put ourselves in those situations.
    If you're talking about a "Friends" (the show) type of group -- that could be a completely different thing and absolutely harmless -- so please don't think I'm judging you without knowing you. We don't personally have a "Friends" type of group - so in our circle of friends none of the wives would think it appropriate.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 5:25 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Any mom is a mom. She deserves the same respect and understanding so I'd welcome any mom.
    gutterflower585

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 5:33 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I have no issue with being friends with a single mom though I would find it VERY odd for a single mom to be hanging out with the men and no wives.... I think it would be very delicate (situation to situation type thing) and more than not a tacky situation.


    I know NO single moms.... I know a couple divorced moms... I think it would be harder to explain to my children why there was no dad.  And THAT would cause me more issue than not trusting her with my husband... I trust him 100%

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Oops... didnt see that this was 9-12... by that age I could explain the 'no dad' thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I don't have a "circle". My sister is a single mom. I really don't hang out with any other mothers.
    HKing01

    Answer by HKing01 at 6:35 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • @Anonymous: I should explain that when I'm talking to the guys, it's usally at a party where the wives are as well; or on a baseball field watching our kids play (while the moms may gossip). We are all very good friends and the wives have NEVER had a reason to question me. As for the difficulty of explaining the absence of a dad, I'm single and an adoptive mom, so it's a good way to let chldren know that families come together in many diffrent ways. I find none of the husbands in our group personally attractive to me, and overall I hang with the moms much more than the dads.
    reveala

    Comment by reveala (original poster) at 11:42 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

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