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What should I say to Mom?

It was common knowledge that i could not accomodate my mom and dad due to their illnesses and old age. So now that time is running out with nurses and everyone is tired of helping out my mother asked me if we were going to pick them up to come stay with us for over 3 months. I was just going to visit. I was floored and shocked. My mom suffered a stroke so she is no t herself anymoe but I could not believe to ask that when she knew already it was not possible. My sil who is having repairs done on her house wanted her to go to her house but the house is under construction and there would be no one home. She lives 40 mins away so then my mom thought of me since I am a sahm. But afte caregiving for 17 days by myself without my husband and son  I feel as if it is never enough for her. I am psychologically drained and stressed out. Meanwhile I suggested going to my other brother's house 10 mins away from her house to sleep over and then spend the day at their house. We live 2 hours away and what about the doctors and getting around? I am so depressed and need advice.....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • If you are drained and stressed out, you are not any good to anyone. Yes, your parents cared for you as a child, but that doesn't mean that everyone has the fortitude to do the same. You need to do what you need to do for you and your family. If she lived with you, which is over two hours away, you would not be able to get them to their doctors appointments. You are in a tough spot. Only you can make this decision.
    Have you checked with their local office of aging? They might be able to help you out.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:40 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Dorsey, I have been in her shoes with more than just my mother, in my mind there is nothing to think about, you return the love and care they once gave you period, end of story, whichever way you can!
    older

    Answer by older at 5:27 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Wouldn't you like if the roles were reversed for your children to help you out in your old age? didn't they take care of you when you were small and unable to do so for yourself? what is there to think about?
    older

    Answer by older at 5:16 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • You are perfect example of the sandwich generation ~ perhaps your brother could step up ...
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 5:19 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I know you feel very guilty because you want to do more and can't that's normal I would see about a part time home care nurse most insurance plans, or even medicare will help with the cost, you should not feel bad that your mom needs more can than you can personaly provide go to the disability office and see if they can help. I'm sorry your having a rough time but don't let small minded people get the better of you it's easy for them to give advice when they are not in your shoes.

    dorsey3

    Answer by dorsey3 at 5:25 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • She's your mom. I think you should let her live with you...BUT I also think that you need to take care of yourself and get help, etc....in order to be able to handle it.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 6:07 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Put her in an assisted living apt
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Feb. 16, 2011