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My 5 year old is having poop "accidents".

it's not a full poop or anything, but it's just hanging out in his butt. but he won't tell anyone about it, we figure it out because we smell it, either from his undies or because he's scratched himself and i can smell it on his hand. my husband freaks out and spanks him, but my approach is to explain how gross it is and how important it is to go to the bathroom and wipe himself and it could make him and others sick. but it now happens a few times a day. is this a psychological problem? does anyone have any experience with this? i'm at a loss and feel like i can't send him to school if he's having this problem at this age, especially since we've never had thes issues before

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Kids' Health

Answers (6)
  • Tell your husband to stop spanking. That only makes it worse. Maybe he is too busy playing? My kids went through that. Ask frequently if he needs to go. Clean him up, then make him go to his room or sit in a chair for a little while to think about it. Tell him it's not acceptable behavior and he will have to go into timeout every time he does it. He's a big boy now, not a baby. He needs to act like a big boy. The first day he goes without an accident, maybe give him a special treat. Just don't say anything beforehand. Tell him you are proud of him. Then, again, it could be his diet. Or, is he fairly regular and having a constipation problem? Too much cheese?

    Answer by Kimimale at 5:20 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • First go to the pharmacy and get some medicine for worms and parasites. He may have picked up something when he was playing. This does not mean you are dirty or uncaring. Children catch these things. Make sure his diet is full of fibre so that he is going to the toilet completely and regularly and there are no problems. If that does not work, get along to a psychologist. Someone may have done something to him. Someone may be bullying him. If that does not work go to the doctor. But I think the other stuff will work. I experienced a similar problem with my son at about the same age and it related to bullying when he went to someone's house to play. I had thought they were nice people. I was wrong. There were long term implications that have lasted for twenty years.

    Answer by MLM247 at 5:25 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Spanking is not going to work. When this happens with some children, something is bothering them. Something is upsetting to them and they do not know how to expalin what they are feeling. I did not have the "poop" accidnets, but one of mine started peeing himself when there were big changes. I think you are doing the right thing by explaining to him, that it can make him and others sick, If he is playing with other children alot, keep an eye to make sure he is not being mistreated by others. Keep working with him calmly and he will get it back together.

    Answer by mlanderson at 5:47 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I have a son that is 7 and has accidents hes autistic though and so he cant help it. he is in school and they have had to call me b4 to come get him because of it. its hard but i dont think spanking is going to help maybe theres some reason for it I would ask the doctor. I wish you luck

    Answer by Hbabygirl476 at 6:19 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • OP here: he's not in school yet, so there's no bullying or anything yet. he's in my sight most times. the only thing i can think of is my husband. he's been very stressed and angry lately, but i didn't want to assume that connection

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:59 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Try talking with your Dr. My sister's son actually had a physical problem. I'm sure he's not telling you because it's embarrassing to him. Spanking him really isn't the answer and can actually make things worse.

    Answer by KeithsGirl721 at 5:52 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

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