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How would you handle something like this in your relationship?

How would you handle the idea of your husband or boy friend having a child from a one night stand that happend years ago , and the mother of that child would not let your husband or boyfriend see the child but was willing to have monthly childsupport payments sent to her for the child. ( no court ordered visitiation was ever set up nore was child support it was only ordered by the county in which the child was born,) and all attempts too visit with the child or contact with the child was haulted by the mother because of her anger issues with your husband/boyfriend


Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Jul. 8, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • If she won't let him see the kids then she shouldn't be getting any money. That's like saying he's not the father but you could some money in her bank acct for NOTHING.
    He should take her to court and fight for visitation. That child is his just as much as hers. Especially if that child is on the birth certificate and has his last name, and he's never abuse the kids in any way like physically or mentally and she's asking for child support.
    I never understood woman who keep the kids from the father and then go asking for money if he didn't abuse them in any way.
    If my husband and I brought up he would have all rights to see his kids unless he had abuse us in any way. And callin gpeople names and yelling and arguing isn't what i'm talking about either.
    I just n

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • Hey, welcome to MY world! You just described our situation in it's entirety.

    Whether or not visitation was ever set up is besides the point. He is the father and he has rights to his child. He can take her to court (and speak for himself) to get visitation rights. He could also call the police station and let them know that he's being refused to see his son and they can accompany him there to get things temporarily straightened out. My husband would rather NOT go that route with his son because he doesn't want his son to relate him to the cops. He's afraid of pushing him away even further. Good luck! I hope all goes well!

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 12:47 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • she may be that childs mother but she has no right to refuse visitation. i think it is crap that she wants money, but won't let him have anything to do with his own child. he should go to the court house and try to get visitation. then, there is nothing she can do about it.

    Answer by birk at 2:37 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • If your husband/boyfriend really wanted to see his child, then he should go to court and get that right. If he is just letting her call the shots, then maybe he just doesn't really care if he does or not. It doesn't much at all, it's not like he needs a lawyer. All he has to do is go to court, pick up the paperwork, fill it out and get a court date to see a judge.

    Answer by xtina34 at 3:05 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I have the same problem, well I guess I should say had the same problem. My husband had a one night stand while he was in high school and 5 years later when we met we got papers in the mail informing him the state was taking him to court for child support. Well, here we are 5 years after the DNA test and he's not allowed to see the child b/c he's married to a black woman, but she has no problem taking that $1300/month and insurance. Which some of that $1300 comes from my paycheck. Some women are just evil and don't take their children into consideration.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I asked this question and am adding comments, My husband did take the mother of his child too court but she never bothered to show up , the judge ordered no visitation with the child because my husband has only had no more then 4 visits with the child since he was born 16yrs ago ( that was the mothers choice not my husbands she went into hiding and we were unable to find her untill we paid for a locator thing online) the judge also increased the childsupport a month and told my husbnd that he didnt wish too see my husband back in his court room again and that changing anything be it childsupport decreaced or visitation wouldnt be in the best interest of the child. my husband was never abusive to the child or the childs mother , she just used my husband too get what she wanted another kid and more childsupport she did the same thing with the first guy that got her pregnant but my husband didnt know what kinda of person she was until after she became pregnant

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on Jul. 9, 2008