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How can I motivate my autistic spectrum 19 year old to get a job?

Having a problem I need help with. I have a 19 yr. old son with Aspergers & OCD. We are on a very limited budget; but our son doesn't seem to understand why I can't buy him everything he wants. He is always angry that there is not food in the house that he likes or that we don't buy him things he wants. He seems pretty normal most of the time, but we are still aware he has challenges. However, we can't keep supporting him and really need him to get a job. We don't mind him living at home, but can't cater to his every whim. He had his first job last summer, and though it was only a temp. position, felt totally dejected after they hired the other temp. employee instead of him. IDK if that has affected his self esteem, but it's been 4.5 months since and he's not really motivated to get another job. I'm tired of being yelled at every time he doesn't get what he wants. The stress is bad for my health. I don't want to kick my son out of the house if he can't support himself, so I'm in quite a quandry. Every time we try to explain that we can't afford to keep buying him things and that we really aren't obligated to do so, then suggest that he gets a job, he shuts us out! Huge wall goes up; doesn't want to hear it! Any advice would be appreciated.

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Asked by artsy_fartsy at 8:05 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You need to find local transition programs to help him build resumes and find work he can do well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Check with your disability services office, they should be able to point you in the right direction. Have you tried to get him on SSI? Or would you qualify for foodstamps? If he is too big, and causing too much trouble to be a danger to your safety, there are homes where he could live that cater to this type of person. His SSI would pay for that. Quit beating yourself up over what you can't give him, and point out to him that he has a roof over his head, he gets 3 meals a day, and he should be paying you rent. Don't make excuses for him, he's going to have to learn some responsibility sooner or later. Preferably sooner, set your expectations a little higher than he can reach right now, and once he reaches them, move up the bar. God Bless you Mom, I know what you are going through. Hugs and prayers!

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 8:22 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • Find a mentor for him. Contact disability and see if they have any job transition programs. Maybe try to help him find a job in a field he is interested in - video games, etc.

    Answer by Holly. at 8:37 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • He's in junior college & his interests are in writing. He writes almost obsessively. He also has OCD. He wants to be a journalists & an author, but isn't educated enough to actual get a job in those fields yet. He doesn't have enough experience at anything to build a resume as he only worked 3 months at a local library. He is a very capable young person, and can do anything he sets his mind to do. I don't think he would qualify for SSI. He looks and acts very normal. Yet, this is a huge hurdle & I just can't figure out what to do. I agree with MamaAlice54 that now is the time to help him be more responsible. Yet, I don't think an employer would hire a kid who won't bring in there own application. He gets them, fills them out, & lets them sit. He is also very close minded to what hours he wants to work. We attend church on Sundays and Wed. nights so he refuses to be available during those times and that could hurt his chances.

    Comment by artsy_fartsy (original poster) at 8:50 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • "looking" normal doesnt mean he is normal.......i have a 9yr old aspie son who "looks" normal but isnt ....thats going to be your first hurdle......YOU personally are going to have to change your way of thinking......take him to the social security office and see what they can do for both of need him to move on because of your health and he needs to move on from being a child to transition to adulthood.....they have mentoring programs he can attend that will work with his schedule and give him some job skill training...


    Answer by cara124 at 11:07 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Maybe a job online would be great.

    Answer by TwilightMack at 9:54 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

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