I was 8 wks pregnant when I had the abortion. It is really a hard thing for me to talk about. The father is also my toddlers father. He is very physical, emotionally and mentally abusive. I am so emotional as I am typing this. The moment I found out I was pregnant I made a promise to myself, the baby and God that I would not have an abortion. I read on it and saw pictures to make my decision easier. I said to myself that I would never do that. Even though I hated the father and he put me through hell I said I wouldnt abort my baby. My father has distant themselves from me from when I had my first baby. Since I was younf they always put me down and I said that I did not care and would just live my life with my babies and away from them. As my pregnancy progessed the babies father did not want anything to do with me or the baby. It hurt and I tried to be s trong and say I did not need him. He was really all I had and no one else. Then one morning he came home yelling, screaming and swinging at me. I feared for myself and for my daughter. That day I was so distraught that I was pregnant with his kid yet again and he is like this towards me. I live in an apartment he wont help with carrying groceries he wont help shovel my car. I was alone and it was hard. He doese nothing for our daughter. Well that morning I spoke to a friend that kept telling me to do the abortion. I said no I cant then she kept reasoning why I should. After a few moments I decided to do it. I went in and had the abortion. I felt that I couldnt do this all alone again and I didnt want anything to do with him.
Now about 2 months later its hitting me real bad. I killed my baby! I will never see my baby.. NEVER! Itook my baby away from the life he or she was suppose to have. I took my daughters sibling from her. I took my baby that I loved away from myself. I cant take it anymore. I am seriously afraid I will commit suicide at some point. When I was content in keeping my baby I said If I did abort it I know I would commit suicide. Everytime I contemplate it I think of my daughter and how I couldnt do that to her. I pray and I tell God that I dont deserve forgiveness. I feel as though I dont ever deserve to be happy and I dont derserve to live.
I can never take that back. It hurts even more when I see my daughter and her baby pictures. I hope to God that my story will change any womans mind that may be contemplating this. You may think you cant do it but you can and now I have nothing! I will never ever get to know my precious baby.
Asked by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by MommaClark3 at 9:25 PM on Feb. 16, 2011
please seek help from someone who can help you. At least give the suicide hotline a call.
Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:26 PM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:27 PM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by autbot at 9:27 PM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by Simplicity3 at 9:28 PM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by calliesmommie at 9:28 PM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by momma_marian at 9:29 PM on Feb. 16, 2011
Answer by kimigogo at 9:31 PM on Feb. 16, 2011
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