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4 Bumps

How do you get by as a single mom?

After 4 years and two young children, I'm not sure there is anything left. 1st counseling session is tomorrow. If we can't make it, what are some tips of how to afford 2 kids on my own. I have a full time job, but it basically pays daycare. Who knows how much he'll be able to chip in. What was it like in the beginning.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Feb. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • theres lots of assistance....daycare assistance (rates based on income), foodstamps, income-based apartments and houses, etc to help you get on your feet....dont be afraid or ashamed to use them...your and your husbands taxes pay for them so you should be the first to take advantage.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 10:26 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • But I don't want to be on them forever- I don't see my income going far enough up to get off assistance if i started it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:28 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I was very hard in the begginning, hard with the money. I am a Rn but I had to work when I could put in in daycare and day care ate up my money. But I was so much happier and it was less stressful (my ex was an abuser, user and just a jerk. At first he really hounded me and was horrible but eventually backed off. I am so happy I did it not only for me but for my son. He has adhd and has/had difficulty with stress change he would have been amess with his father in his life. So yes money will be hard but he has to pay support for kids and possibly more he may have to pay for the child care. My best advice to you is get all of your and his financial info and get a councel visit with a lawyer. That visit is not much (40--$75). They will be able to tell you where you will be financially. But try not to worry things just seem to worry out. If you need more help you can message me! Good luck!
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 10:33 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I'm not going to sugar coat it for its really tough when you first become a single mom. I got pregnant when I was in college- I knew I wouldn't be able to finish off my last year , financially and b/c my hands would be full. So I did some research on jobs that you can earn a decent salary in and that are fairly stable as far as the economy and hiring go. I enrolled in a program to become a paralegal. And I can say, as of right now, best decision EVER! My advice for you- do your research. See what programs are available for you- childcare assistance, rent assistance etc. Use it when you have to and don't be ashamed of it. Set a goal for yourself- ex. " By 2013 I will be able to not use food stamps" . Also, take steps to keep yourself motivated- not matter what happens b/w you and your DH it's important to stay strong. If you become a single mom than OWN IT :) Once you own it the happier and more badass you will be!
    kcn333

    Answer by kcn333 at 10:43 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I saved my child support up to pay the rent and my paychecks went to bills and food.... you have to set aside money for this and that and need to plan ahead financially ..... you have to be creative and not spend money on extras until you have everything figured out...it takes awhile but it can be done because there are thousands who do it and make it... you will be fine just be smart about your money
    alotleft2do

    Answer by alotleft2do at 10:48 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I am a newly single mom and it is VERY hard!!! I wasn't working because my ex wouldn't want me to. The job market is horrible too. Just use foodstamps and daycare assistance until you can get on your feet. like PP said you can look for income based housing. Talk to an advocate... they are amazing and can really help you find resources. Have you thought about going to school part time so you could get a better paying job? GL and if you need anyone to talk to just let me know! I would love to make a new friend, we can vent ;)
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:49 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • I also think it is cheaper to be a single mom because you are the only adult to support....I was a single mom for 10 yrs and it was cheaper! now I'm married and get quite restful of having 2 adults instead of one...because he has his needs ... where as being it just you...it is just your needs and the kids
    alotleft2do

    Answer by alotleft2do at 10:50 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

  • ~*Hugs*~... if you lived close to me (CA) I would take on helping with the kids for free! First of all you need friends and a support system... people that can step up to help and not ask for anything in return!
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 11:29 PM on Feb. 16, 2011

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