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How can I explain to my husband the damaged he is creating on

I got remarried I have a child he is 13 my husband has another child he is also
13. The issue I am having is that my stepson gets anything he wants, let me
explain. Right now we have a plasma tv in our bedroom 36 inches and my husband
wants to give it to his son who spends 50% of the time with us. My son has a 19
inches lcd tv and I dont think is fair that his son gets the big tv. His son is
in Private School and mine is not. My son thinks is not fair that he has a
little tv and my stepson is getting the big one. Sometimes my husband does not
treat my son good, the way he talks to him is not the same way he talks to his
son. Please help me SOS, I want to try to save my marriage. But I am a mother
first, and my son feels less...I am worry

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Asked by Chenell299 at 1:01 PM on Nov. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • at the end of the day you are right, you are a mother first. if his son is only there half the time there is no need in putting the big t.v in his room. you need to sit your husband down and explain to him that it is not fair, and that you dont appreciate the way he treats your son. especially if you treat his son equal to yours. and if you feel he wont change toward your son maybe it is time to move on.

    Answer by NATTY567 at 1:05 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I completely agree with Natty567.... your child comes first. It's time to implement damage control.

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 1:08 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Well said NATTY567, I strongly agree.

    Answer by ms.busybody at 1:11 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • You are 100% right! Your husband needs to treat both boys the same! If one boy gets a 36" plasma TV, then the other boy should also get a 36" plasm TV. Unless he wants something else of equal value!

    Answer by amydh at 1:19 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • it was the same way in our house my kids live with me his don't and he would use the excuse that when they got away with something my kids would never be able to get away with that he doesn't get to see his sons all the time and he doesn't want to spend the time he has with them yelling at them. well if they would follow the rules everyone else has to follow there would be no yelling. it was always unfair and now that they are teenagers while my kids have grown up his hasnt

    Answer by jodi205 at 1:24 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • i agree with equal treatment as well, but i think giving a 32" plasma to any kid is foolish. Kids dont need things like that, i think the other son should get a tv like your son. If your husband cannot respect your feelings then i say he is not a very good husband. He is making you look bad in front of your children and that isnt sending a very good message to your boys. Talk to him and if he cant come to some agreement, then I agree with the others that you should move on, because it will only get worse from here.

    Answer by bubblebean at 1:26 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I agree with everyone else. It will get worse. I am going through a similar thing, only its SO's mother (who lives right downstairs from us) that does the spoiling. SHe is CONSTANTLY spending all of her money on my SD (11) while my son gets nothing. Ever. SO and I have had many many fights because ....... as he put it......."I'm not going to tell my mother she can't buy her granddaughter presents" It's very unequal and my son ends up hurt all of the time.

    Answer by MissLisaMarie at 3:13 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I commend you for thinking like that and sticking up for your son. I think you should explain to your husband and tell him that when he treats your son less he is hurting you. Your son is a part of you and he shouldn't treat him like that. It's not fair. If both of them can't have the same tv than neither of them can. It's not a very good example. Every parent wants the best for their child and it's clear that he loves his son but so do you. I hope he undestands how unfair he's being and how much it hurts.

    Answer by babyangelromero at 5:16 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

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