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2 Bumps

Open or closed...that is the question!

OK my daughter has recently started seeing a boy from school-so he's really the first BF that has been near us and able to actually come over and whatnot. She is 17 and has decided that I have taught her right and she feels that our rule of keeping the door craked open while the BF is here is rediculous and that she should be allowed privacy and says that "just because the door is closed does not mean anything would happen" She says it is irritating that her brother and I can walk back there and "spy" on her or check in or scare them or whatever. I am posting this because she is basically begging me to change the rule and says she is the ONLY 17 yr old she knows that has to abide by such a rule.

SO, I'm taking a vote and would like reasons backing up your position.

yes- give her the privacy because I trust in her

no- keep it at least cracked open

opinions?

 
charlotsomtimes

Asked by charlotsomtimes at 12:31 AM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 45 (203,833 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Make her keep the door open! however at the same time, offer the compromise that her brother is not allowed to peek in or bother them and no one is going to pop in out of nowhere. Give her the courtesy of knocking even if the door is open because she does have a right to privacy. She is seventeen and popping in randomly may seem to be a lack of trust to her. And think of how frustrated YOU would be if you were just watching a movie and someone popped in every five minutes going "HAND CHECK!"
    MamaStuart

    Answer by MamaStuart at 12:42 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Not just cracked, but all the way open. Better yet, have them out with the rest of the family. It was that way when my siblings and I were dating. Even though it seemed strict to our friends at the time, all of us are grateful that we had parents who looked out for us that way, and didn't want the temptation to be an issue. It's just not a situation a teen should be in. My parents made it clear that any boy that felt he needed to be alone with me and didn't want to spend time with my family, wasn't someone worth keeping around any way.
    MyGiftsFromGod

    Answer by MyGiftsFromGod at 1:02 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • no
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:36 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I wasnt even allowed to have boys upstairs..let alone in my room,and with a door closed..And the only privacy that kids need from there parents is in the bathroom.. I think we as parents are letting too many lines get blurred..we need to not worry about their privacy and worry more about what we know is right. Some decisions we make as parents arent the popular decisions.
    Thoxie

    Answer by Thoxie at 8:32 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN
    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 2:05 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN!

    Why? Because I'm 22 and I REMEMBER being 17. My mom let us close the door and while we did not have sex because it was important to me but we DID do other sexual things we should NOT have been doing.

    AND because ALL 3 OF MY OTHER SIBLINGS DID HAVE SEX UNPROTECTED and 2 of them got PREGNANT DESPITE my mom CONSTANTLY teaching us NOT to have sex because my mom let them close the door.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Keep it cracked. or closed but you are alowed to come in without knocking at any moment you want.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • It's a matter of how much you trust your daughter. I agree with MamaStuart that courtesy knocks are important, and show you respect her space (of course, if it takes her 90 seconds to respond, perhaps the closed door isn't the best idea!). Do you trust her? Has she given you a reason not to?
    I was allowed to have the door closed at 17. That said, my mother also let my boyfriend stay over, and she knew what was going on, but she also knew we were responsible with birth control. We had a very open dialogue, and we talked openly about sex from an early age.
    I'd say to sit her down, and go over ground rules. Make it clear to her where the boundaries are, as far as what's okay and what's not under your roof. If you trust her, give her the benefit of the doubt, until she gives you a reason not to trust her.
    Good luck!
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:58 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Open. In our home my sons were not allowed to have girls in their rooms because all they had in their rooms were their beds because bedrooms are for sleeping. The TV, computers and game systems are in the living room so they could watch a movie or go online in the living room. Since most of their friends had the same rules my sons never felt like we were being unreasonable.
    tracylynnr67

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 12:17 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • YES..give her privacy..
    socalikim

    Answer by socalikim at 2:40 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

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