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My 17yr old sister n law!!!!!

Ok well my sister n law who isnt the greatest person in the world is pregnant she found out that i was( my daughter is 10 months now tho) and ever since then shes been tryin to get pregnant cause the attention is off her now shes lazy rude and only cares about herself......
Well she has been having seizures and shes pregnant she just found out she was yesterday but i kno shes kno she hasnt had a period since december but anyone have any advice how i can talk to her to give this baby up for adoption id never do this ever but she needs to shes to lazy to even to get up and shower she doesnt have a car license or a job hasnt graduated from school either
Ive tried to talk to her but she wont listen and i need adivce how to get this through her head that shes having a baby and its not all fun and games like she thinks it is

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on Feb. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • People CAN change, and she might step up once she has a baby. You can't convince her to put the baby up for adoption, but what you can do is support her and educate her on all her choices. I had a friend, in my younger years, who got pregnant at 15. She was quite a party-er. Smoked pot regularly, loved her acid, and was generally an irresponsible teen. She COMPLETELY changed during her pregnancy. I've never seen anyone do a complete 180 like that. That was something like, 11 years ago, and she is now married with 2 other boys in addition to the son she had as a teen, and a few stepchildren as well. Never touched drugs again after learning she was pregnant. She's also very religious now, (not that that matters, just another example of how she changed) and married to a minister. And she was 15, your SIL is 17, and possibly a little more mature. Be there for her, that's the best you can do :)
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 9:13 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Convince her that she'll get the tons of attention from being pregnant, but once she has the baby everyone will go about their own lives about a week later then her lazy ass will be thinking FML, maybe the baby idea wasn't so bright... so tell her if she gives the baby up for adoption she'll get continuous attention afterwards because giving your baby up for adoption can be traumatic. Should do the trick, right?
    brandy0827

    Answer by brandy0827 at 1:39 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • It could give her incentive to get her act together
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Wow I am in a similar situation! All we can do is let them learn on there own somethings are better left unsaid!
    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 2:00 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I know this isn't going to sound very helpful, but there isn't much you can say to her to help her see this. I just went through a similar problem with my 16 yr old niece, without any prevail. She sounds very selfish. The only thing I was able to do was observe her after the baby was born & eventually I had to call CPS on her. It sounds terrible even saying this but the welfare of the child must always come first hope this isn't the same ending you have to come to. Good luck...
    Racheal7879

    Answer by Racheal7879 at 1:47 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • What ever you tell her it will go in one ear and out the other! Just let her learn the hard way I feel bad for the kid but stupid people have kids ALL the time!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 2:00 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • yea thank u all its just it kills me knowing tht baby is gonna be born and not be with a good family me and my husband wld take the baby but we are not stable enough money wise to do so
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:05 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • HI,

    Sorry for your troubles. She sounds as if she has depression, which can be treated, so she should first of all see a doctor. It may be related to her having seizures. She should go to an appointment with you or someone she trusts to a place such as Planned Parenthood to have professionals discuss the situation with her. Remember the doll experiment that they do in high school where you have to take care of a doll for several days, change it, feed it, etc. Maybe do this, corny, I know, but it might be a reality check! Does she live with you? Are you going to be responsible for helping out when this baby is born? Congratulations on your new baby!
    I wish you all the best. Take care, Sandy
    AvonLadySandy

    Answer by AvonLadySandy at 8:58 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • yes she lives with me and my husband and so does his mom cuz shes ill and cant be alone cuz of her health but i have tried to tell her about how hard it is sometimes but the other thing is she dont even kno whos the father she slept with 2 guys back to back!!!!!! GROSS but if u guys met her u wld be like adoption is the best but i also understand tht i cld never give my baby up and i kno it will be hard for her no matter what way she goes
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:51 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

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