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Why do mothers...

or any woman for that matter stay with abusive husbands who abuse them either verbally or physically? You can say it's for your kids, but by staying in the relationship you are only teaching them that it is okay to treat ppl/be treated this way. My mother walked away from my father for cheating and she never looked back. I have so much respect for her for that. She taught me what it meant to be strong and that I don't have to define myself by a man. Because of her example I've never taken crap from men. Yet my friend who has a young daughter stays with a man who tells her every day that she is fat and ugly and a waste of space and calls her lazy even though she does all the housework and all the baby care. She feels horrible about herself yet she stays. I honestly don't understand and feel so bad for her and other women in this situation.

simple frown

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • It's just hard to do. Love is blind and sometimes the woman maybe hanging onto the hope that he'll change. She may feel like she has nowhere to go. There's lots of reasons, none of them are good reasons 'cause there's never a good reason to stay, but like I said before, it's just hard.
    myree85

    Answer by myree85 at 1:11 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • seriously, i get how you feel, but i have know idea WHY they make what seems the lesser choice, i just wish thier was an easy way to make them see reality and leave...
    KPrice777

    Answer by KPrice777 at 1:14 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • it's not easy! This is one of those "until you're in that situation" things
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 1:28 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Some are afraid to be alone. It is very sad for me it was different when my ex hit me the first time I hit him back and left! Never looked back! Thank God we didn't have any kids.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 1:29 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I agree with you OP.. I would never stay in a situation that was unhealthy for me or my kids..
    mysticlady1221

    Answer by mysticlady1221 at 1:35 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • thankfully I wasnt married to the guy or had kids with him but I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years. the relationship started out like a romance novel. Things were great. But soon he was manipulative, controlling, he became a compulsive liar, he'd hit me and verbally and mentally abuse me all the time. I felt bad for him when he hit me because he was hit by his parents all the time so I felt it was "excused" and I did afterall do *such and such* and deserved it. I would NEVER think that now. I'd say screw this guy, and leave. But I was young, he "loved me" and being in a relationship that long I was afraid of change. He wa sso controlling I felt there was no one else out there for me. Thank goodness he is in the past now. I sure learned a life lesson. He ended up marrying a mutual friend and they have 2 kids together. He is doing the same shit to her as he did me. She is in denial too.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 1:35 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • It's really sad to see these women love an abuser more than they love themselves... or their kids for that matter. I don't care what anyone says growing up in an abusive environment will mess these kids up.
    ConcernedMom141

    Answer by ConcernedMom141 at 8:43 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

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