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3 Bumps

Question about new bf's...um member. adult content

so I am 26 and am dateing an older man he is 38. we resently started having sex and I have noticed that he doesnt get fully hard. he can get partially hard as it seems so far any time he wants with on problem and with out any work on my part but he is still quite soft. I dont want to ask him about it seen as it isnt a big issue with me seen as we get along just fine regardless, if you know what I mean. and i also dont want to make him feel uncomfortable or self contious. however i am very curious to know why he is like this. is it age, and if so would some medication help? could it be some other health issue he hasnt told me or maybe he doesnt know? or is it me?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 AM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I would be honest with him if you are in a commited relationship then bring it up tell him your a little concerned it could be health related, if your just dating and dont really give a hoot leave it alone or move on
    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 2:12 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • k that didnt help at all, but thanks for your option. I never dated an older man before, so this is all new to me if I wanted to talk to him about it right now i would have done so already, i need more info on older man before i approch him about it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:27 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • At 38 he should be having no problem. My husband is 40 and he gets as hard as a log . As to medication, it could be medication he is taking as some interfere with male potency . There are medications he can take but he would be unwise to do so without consultimg a doctor as some are contra-indicated for certain medical conditions . It isn't you. if it was he wwouldn't want to have sex with you anyway.
    janet116

    Answer by janet116 at 3:09 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I don't think it has anything to do with age... the fact that you think it does is pretty telling though. Does it bother you that he is older?
    ConcernedMom141

    Answer by ConcernedMom141 at 8:36 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • My bf is 43 and gets hard as a rock. I've even been with an older man and he had no issues there either - so I don't think it's age. Perhaps it's just his body and how the muscles are. If it is a concern, just talk about it and ask him what you could do to make him even harder. Do it in a sexy way and see what he says.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 8:52 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • If he isn't having a problem with it, and things are...uh...coming to fruition (yuk yuk), then don't worry about it and don't say anything! That will only be awkward and make him feel bad. Face it, men place a lot of emphasis on their genitalia. IT'S NOT YOU! Hell, he's probably thrilled with having a hot, young thang. Maybe he's just physiologically made that way. It's true that as we age, things change in how they function, but at 38 that's probably not what is going on. I would leave it alone (figuratively) unless it starts presenting a problem.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 9:31 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • JawgaMom1 derserves Best Answer!!! I 100% agree!!
    CollinsMommy729

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 10:48 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Ok thanks ladies, that was a big help. I didnt want to talk to him cause i didnt want to make him feel bad but really didnt know what could cause it. It doesnt really bother me at all, worry me a little,yes, but doesnt bother me seen as so far our sex life is great! His age doesn't bother me but is odd to me for him to be 12years older them me. A bad health issue does bother me, not enough to break it off, but it does bother me. I'm still a bit worried it might be some sort of a health issue such as with his heart or so on. If he had such a condition id think he'd tell me, but he is a guy......or maybe he doesn't know. but you'd think he would have noticed the change in his 'member' and tried to figure it out on his own, which he may have done so and just hasn't told me. But thanks that at least give me some insight. And if I ever do talk to him I know it's not age.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:10 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • 38 is not that old and the hardness factor wouldn't be an issue at this point in his life. I once dated a guy who was on anti-depressants, and he was unable to get solid hard because of that. You might see if you can find out if he is on some sort of medication. Also, diabetes and circulation problems can cause this too. (By the way, my husband is 56 and still gets just as hard as a young guy).
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:19 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

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