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3 Bumps

Have you ever gotten emotional over your husbands lack of ...

saying nice things to you
giving you compliments
touching you
holding you
kissing you

and when you did get emtional di he get mad and yell at you for it?
How did you feel?

I feel mad but embarressed too,maybe I shuldnt have expressed how I felt about him not doing all these things.I'm scared he will leave me for it.Will he feel that I'm being too needy? I've asked him but he just ignores me.He just sits there staring at the tv not saying a word while I talk and cry.Which in turn makes me talk and cry even more!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:36 AM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • A lot men don't know what to do with a crying woman. They don't understand the tears and just sit there feeling bewildered and then angry. If you have something to say to him, think it over enough that you aren't emotional about it anymore, so you can say it dry eyed. I know that's hard sometimes, but very necessary in communicating with our Spock-like men, sometimes. I would also recommend reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It sounds like he's not understanding your love language and you aren't understanding his. It has questionnaires that will help you figure out what yours and his are. If you come to realize that he is expressing his love to you every single day, just not in your language, you will stop feeling so unloved. Granted, he has to be willing to recognize what your language is and help fulfill that, just not when you're crying and he's feeling inept. Good luck, hope this helps!

    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 9:57 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • If he leaves you over that then you are TRULY better off without him hon!

    He should care and be responsive to your needs.

    Some men are naturally more or less attentive than others, I guess we should expect that. But you should NEVER be yelled at for expressing an opinion or asking for attention from your spouse. He needs some help!
    angelm523

    Answer by angelm523 at 8:39 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Alot of men will do that becasue they have a hard time expressing emotion like that. Bu that is no t grounds for leaving his a@@. Come on he needs to grow up but not out. If you are just living together it iseasier said than done, married , you have got to be kidding me. Marriage is not like throwing out the trash when you get through with it. SO please have a serious talk but do not do anything hasty.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • A lot of men feel very uncomfortable when a woman cries. They really don't know what to do. They are MEN and when MEN get hurt or angry they express themselves in a much different way. Early on in our marriage, my husband would be quite insensitive when I would be cry, especially if it were over something he'd said to me. He had to learn (by my telling him when we weren't engaged in an argument) that when I cried I needed him to hug me and hold me. Words weren't near as important as his embracing me. I needed to know that no matter what, he still loved me. He took it to heart and has never been insensitive about my tears since.

    The best time to approach your husband about any of these things is when you both have time to sit down and talk, uninterrupted. Women and men, although alike in many ways, differ in many of their needs. He will only know what YOU need, if you tell him. Best wishes!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 9:24 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I guess someone made a mistake on mine too. Life goes on....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I wouldnt worry about him leaving you over that. He is an ass. If he does it will be rough at first but you WILL make it through.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 8:50 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I would be guessing that someone either made a mistake or has a stick up their ass for voting me down.

    Have a nice day either way!
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 8:52 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Put his ass out. You deserve way better than than that.
    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 8:38 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • yes all the time especially right now we are under so much stress he forgot to even say Happy Valentines Day and I went out of my way to fix his favorite dinner and make sure the house was clean and the boys were fed and everything so he had nothing to worry about.
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 9:33 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I am just as emotionally unavailable as my husband is. Truly, neither one of us gives a crap about niceties, compliments or snuggling, which makes it easy for us.

    However, because you DO care about those things, I think your husband should at least try.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:45 AM on Feb. 17, 2011