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3 Bumps

Ummmm, he told me he loves her....

so the newish bf and I were talking yesterday. He's married to help a woman gain citizenship, I know this I have known about this, she lives in another state, it's cool. UNTIL he said "she's the only woman I've loved enough to marry." He told me it wasn't like "that," but now I'm wondering if she's the one that didn't want a real relationship or was it mutual, and more importantly, is there anyway for me to ever live up to her? Do you think that men only fall in love once?


Asked by gypsymama532 at 10:11 AM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,932 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon of most of these women. My best friend married a woman so she could get papers- it is technically illegal, but very much possible. However, if you haven't met or spoken to this woman at all, that sounds fishy. Does she at least know about you? I can somewhat relate in the emotional sense of feeling like you can't live up to a previous love of his. My SO had plenty of girlfriends before me, but there was one he lived w/ and she broke his heart- but I always felt like if she hadn't cheated, maybe they'd still be together. But then I realized we are 2 separate people-- don't try to live up to her, just be you! Unless its something shady (like he STILL loves "wife") than he chose u for a reason. But get some answers.

    Answer by lexi8622 at 7:42 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I think whether he's in a contract type marriage (which I think is illegal), or not, he's still married. And that you should not be with someone who is married.

    Answer by ArmyWifeAshlie at 10:13 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • That type of marriage is very illegal, and I have to agree with the previous poster.

    Answer by older at 10:14 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • He is telling you straight out he doesn't love or respect you. Run!

    Answer by liteofmine71 at 10:14 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I think I would run for the hills! I think he wants you as a girlfriend and the wife as an excuse, no I don't think men only fall in love once, but I wouldn't keep dating him as long as he is married (whatever the reason). How is he ever going to be free to marry you? If he divorces her, she will lose the rights to stay in the States,,,,find someone who has no strings attached, you deserve it!

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:14 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • He's married to a woman he loves, doesn't live with her and is pursuing a relationship with you? If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't be worried about living up to her, I'd be more worried about him living up to my expectations. Doesn't sound like he's really available.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 10:14 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I agree with Ashley. Besides unless you've spoken to this woman yourself you don't know if what he's saying is really true. Some men will tell huges lies just to get into someone else's pants.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 10:15 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Sorry hun, but he married her for a reason. I doubt it was just for legal reasons since most men don't have a strong desire to get married.

    Stop trying to live up to being better than her. Be you and find someone who has enough respect for you to not be in another relationship.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:15 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • dont be with someone like this, whether its a marriage of convenience or not there are still strings attached. plus this type of marriage is illegal and you might be counted as an accessory if you knew and didnt report them. get away from this idiot before things get worse!

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:16 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Seriously, look at all the posts above and think about what he has said, run don't walk and don't answer his calls. You know the answer here. You deserve way more!

    Answer by chgomom at 10:35 AM on Feb. 17, 2011