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2 Bumps

Did you start out with nothing?

Me & my husband got pregnant at 16 & 17. Our son is now 3. We really grew up, and matured after we found out I was pregnant. We werent the selfish type of teen parents, like some. My mom is an alcoholic, and his mom is disabled, and theyre basicly the only family we have around here. So, neither of them could watch our son when I had to go back to school. So I dropped out. I plan on getting my GED, and going back when ds starts school. But as of now, we do live on welfare. In assisted living, (apartment complex, rent goes by how much money you make a month). My husband graduated, and he has a decent job. But it pays just enough to get by with what life throws at us. We hardly ever get to go out to eat, vacations, or anything that requires money really. Our pastor & lis wife have been married for 25 years. And they tell us they started out the same way (minus the baby at a young age). and they were married in their late 20s. I just cant see it ever being easy, or us being able to have the money to do stuff everyone else does. I thought, maybe after i get through school it will get better. But then paying for school, that's gonna be a hassle. I dont know, it's just a depressing time right now for me. A lot of girls I went to school with who had babies the same time as me, they're in college, have family to watch their kid(s), and they go out & do a LOT of stuff. It's probably wrong, but it makes me so mad. Because most of them just dump their kids on their parents, or whomever, when they go out. Was it ever like this for you and your dh? Did it get better? How & when? Have any advice for me???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (12)
  • I was there...it sucked, but I would never change it. My husband and son were my world and I love them so much! I went to college though when my son was 3 months old though. The college had a really good daycare program and I used part of my financial aid money to pay for daycare. I paid the full semesters daycare bill when I got my student aid. Also one semester we had no money, I went and got daycare assistance from the state. We made sure not to have anymore kids until I was out of school.

    Now my oldest son is 11 and we have added two more boys to our brood. And we are doing just fine. Have faith that things will work out and remember that the little things don't really matter. You HAVE love and support for each other and you have your beautiful baby boy...you are blessed.

    Hugs Momma!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:40 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I started out with 12k in debt from college, so less than nothing. But I did get a job that paid good right away, so I never really struggled.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 1:41 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Well I had my son at 18, my DF was 22. He already had a descent job. Bringing in well over eno9ugh to afford what we needed. But when the market got bad and jobs got scarce his hours got cut in half and we had to survive on half of what we were used to. We got some assistance while I was pregnant, food stamps, but we were determined to not be dependence of the system, the system is hard to get out of when you fully accept their 'help'. I was a stay at home mom doing odd jobs because we could not afford for me to go to work. we fell in that making to much category to qualify for anything, but still broke.

    fast forward til now. I go to school full-time. I am on track to finish my second year of college, I am 19, I work 2 part tme jobs, my DF is a personal trainer and works his normal job for us to keep our health care, and we make our schedule so that our son is either with me or DF, my mom helps a few hours on weekend
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:42 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • will i married young aswell but no kids, im now remarried, and the honestly it takes hard work and sacrafice to make it better...but the answer is yes it can and does get better if you plan and orginize and set a steady pace and goals...some options to consider is joining a mom group and trading babysitting, also there might be people at your church that would love to babysit aswell, and uauslly young girls will do it for cheap, 2nd working from home can help bring in a second income and third option is stiff like the military they pay for school, if thats not an option then school is, but you should try to get finacial aid and maybe some scholarships...theyre are alot of options and resources mainly it just takes some figuring it all out good luck
    KPrice777

    Answer by KPrice777 at 1:42 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • so I guess moral of that is it get5s better but you need to work your ass off. It is hard.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:43 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • We have not had it quite as rough. But my husband and I got married young, had to support ourselves through college and have no family to watch our son. We very rarely go out to eat and the closest thing we have had to a vacation is going to funerals. We have been on assistance. I had to quit my job because we couldn't afford child care. We've found a way through all the crap and now are on transitional medicade since my husband got a real job and he is in a place to get raises and advancement so things are beginning to get paid down and life will soon return to us. Have patience, do what you need to do and eventually things can get better and unlike your friends who are given everything you will be self sufficient and enjoy what you get out of life more because of where you came from.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 1:43 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • In my life, I have been way up and I have been way down. I moved out on my 18th birthday and got an apartment with nothing. I had no bed, nothing. I was making around $6 an hour at the time. I got married a couple of months later, and my husband and I worked very hard. We bought our first house when we were 20 years old, a cheap fixer that needed everything. We were doing great. At 22, I quit my job and got pregnant with our first child. After that, we had a series of horrible medical problems. My husband was in intensive care twice. We had insurance but it didn't cover much, and before we knew it, we had $20,000 in medical debt, 4 mortgages on the house, and $15,000 in credit card debt (we used the credit cards to pay for groceries and gas, while we tried to get out from under the medical bills). Continued..
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:44 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Continued...
    We ended up selling our house at 26, paying off all of our debt, and moving across the country to start over with nothing. We rented a townhouse, started trying to save again, and get back on our feet. Now we're 31 and we own our own business. We bought another house 3 years ago, and we have a savings. We're doing fine. One thing I've learned is that you can never be comfortable with where you are, because it can take only one major crisis to take everything away. You can't assume that you'll have money forever if you're rich, and you can't assume you'll be broke forever if you're poor.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:44 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Well I got pregnant when I was 17 and obviously it was not a planned thing. Me and my now ex husband got married and we ended up with 3 kids together by the time we were 21 & 22 yrs old. It was a struggle because we tried to make it work without asking for help. I did have the extreme blessing of coming from a well off family so basically anytime we needed help financially all I had to do was ask. I just hated to ask. It always was a huge lecture on how I ruined my life and what not.
    Anyway, I found a college that had a daycare for married couples and married housing. My pell grant & student loans paid the rent and bills, and I worked part time. I did have to move far from home, but was able to get my education started then (GED, some classes etc). We did divorce but my life is 100 times better then it was. My older kids are raised and I have a nice life.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:45 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I got marrried at 18 and had a baby at 19. It is so much work to make something of yourself when you start out the way we did! We are doing it though and I'm so proud! My hubby has an awsome job and I get to be home with the kiddos. We've been happily married for almost 5 years, I love the life we chose. Good Luck! With hard work you can do anything!
    HannahMayr

    Answer by HannahMayr at 5:58 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

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