My SIL is 24, lives at home and is out of work. She had been working at a local big box store(5 years), but got fired and hasn't tried to find a new job. Her 'job' right now is supposed to be keeping the house clean, laundry caught up, etc. and to take her younger sister back and forth to school.
Her parents basically have to bully her into doing any chores - she is completely unmotivated. They tried sending her to a local community college. The first semester she failed every class, took the same set of classes again the next semester and failed every class again. Found out she was just driving half an hour one way to go to the mall every day instead of class. She tried moving out once, next door in a rental trailer with a friend, but the friend didn't pay their part of the bills and she couldn't pay for it all on her own, so she's back home with no prospect or great desire of moving out. (and why should she, she's getting a free ride!)
Her folks have threatened her before about being kicked out if she can't get herself together. I'm kind of wondering when the other shoe is going to drop at this point if she chooses not to seek employment or take care of the house in return for food and lodging.
What can I do to help motivate her to better her situation before things turn sour for her with her family? She's not doing herself any favors, and their patience isn't going to last forever. I think tough love and a hard lesson are coming her way, and deservedly so.
She lacks a lot of social graces and seems to be completely uninterested in having a social life or furthering her education.
What would you do with this kid??
Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:50 PM on Feb. 17, 2011
Answer by older at 1:51 PM on Feb. 17, 2011
Answer by febmom007 at 1:52 PM on Feb. 17, 2011
I would give her 6 weeks to have a job and begin paying rent, or to be out. She is an adult. Mom and Dad are just enabling her to make poor choices because she is not being held to her word. Sometimes the best way to help adult children is let them fall on the butt and pick themselves up. It took my oldest 6 yrs to begin to pull his head out. He is currently living at home, paying no rent. He IS going to a trade school and we see grade sheets once a month. As long as he keeps his grades at an 80 or better he can stay. He has 8 weeks after graduation to get a job. He isn't messing around because he's learned, finally, that we are serious.
Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:00 PM on Feb. 17, 2011
Answer by poisonivy2917 at 3:12 PM on Feb. 17, 2011
Poisonivy took the words right out of my mouth. She sounds as if she has depression. Have her checked out. Good luck.
Answer by dalene66 at 9:23 PM on Feb. 17, 2011
Answer by SweetLuci at 10:05 AM on Feb. 19, 2011
Answer by Annabella612 at 3:43 PM on Feb. 19, 2011
Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:49 PM on Feb. 19, 2011