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Who decides where you live? You or hubby?

I want to move because I am not happy. Hubby chose to move miles away, in a different state from where we use to because I think he wants to avoid his family. He has a career, friends, all he wants.. I do not ... I want my old life back that has cost me friends, good schools and happiness. Do you decide together where you live, or do you let the "breadwinner" decide? I just feel like my opinion is not counting. WE have tried it for 6 years and I feel trapped!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Nov. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Same with me. ugh I HATE the area we are living in but its where husband's family and his work is he has a great job and his family is awesome but I miss my friends and I miss the city! My husband is worth the sacrafice, I MAKE him take me back to the city at least once a month.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • We both decide together I guess, he is from mexico. I would like ot move to mexico to at least have the expierence adn if its not what we want of course come back but he would rather live here in rainy seattle lol...

    Answer by Crystal42683 at 2:20 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • You have to decide together.... I made my X move out of state and he did not want to and that was the main cause of my divorce..

    Answer by Dannee at 2:20 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • No one decides - it's a mutual decision. Other than that it depends where the work is. When I become a teacher I can work anywhere. My DH doesn't have that luxury. So I will go where there is work and the best hope for my family.

    Answer by nightwillow at 2:23 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Nobody should be the main decision maker. A marriage is 50/50 and even if you're not bringing money into the home, it doesn't make your opinion worthless. I would have a good, deep conversation with him. If he doesn't want to really plug in, I would have a counselor or mediator sit in as a third party until you can get this thing settled.

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 2:23 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • We decide together! I know hubby would never take a job elsewhere because he knows how much I love living where we do. He'd like to live further from the city whereas I want to be closer...we'll probably end up being closer for the schools and our family, and just have to take more camping trips to satisfy his need for the outdoors.

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 3:18 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • We move where ever we have to for my husband to find a job! We will probably be moving again very soon because there are no jobs to be found where we are. We have moved 15 times in 20 years!

    Answer by amydh at 3:20 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • WE decide but often times, it's work (yours, his, or both of you) that decides where you end up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • My DH and I decided where to move. At the time it was exactly halfway for each of us to drive to work. Now it's just a long way for him to drive since I'm a SAHM. The decision really has to be mutual!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:13 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

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