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2 Bumps

Step parenting. HELP!

I have no biological children (unable to conceive), but I do have three step children. Ages 7,9,10. Who are being raised completely different from the way they would be raised if my husband and I had custody of them. Neither the mom or the step dad work, they live in "the projects" paying $11 a month rent, food stamps, get help from the government with the utilities, the ONLY income is my husband child support check. They are allowed to watch rated R movies, listen to music with cuss words, the 10yr is allowed to spend the night with his 12yr old girlfriend. The 7yr old girl spends the night with some other girl that lives in the "apartments" that is 13 and has a 15yr old brother. The 9 and 10 year old boys have to share a bed. She is constantly drinking and taking prescription drugs in front the kids, she even overdosed in front of the kids and was taken to the hospital via ambulance. (Trust me, we are trying for custody as we speak.) We were denied temporary custody and now we are waiting for the court date to come up for permanent custody. Both my husband and I work and make sure we provide way beyond the child support, clothes, shoes, haircuts, hairbows, bookbag, supplies, cell phones, etc. But no matter what I do, she is always bad mouthing me to the kids, or texting me with ugly things, or emailing me telling me I have no right to take her daughter to get her nails done or take her son's shopping. I am a Christian and we go to church often, when the children are with us they go and 2 of them have recently been saved. Her husband is atheist and is telling my step children insane things. When they are with us they take daily baths. After her having them for 7 days they came back to us literally stinking with dirty clothes on, not just stained but dirty like have not been washed but worn atleast 3 times. It is horrible! I don't know what else to do.... I am praying that we do get custody. For the sake of the kids!

I just need some advice. Maybe from other stepmom's out there.

Answer Question
 
jojobeans429

Asked by jojobeans429 at 5:10 PM on Feb. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (55 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Everything sounds horrible and I hope you get custody but there is nothing wrong with an Atheist parent, yes there is something wrong with that guy but it's not because he's an Atheist.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:14 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Not a step mom but I have been threw my share of custody disputes. My ex is on welfare and was recently "saved" he claims but was practicing some pretty dark magic for awhile there. Anyway religion wont matter to the judge. The kids will likely always see you as the reason they got taken from their mom if you win. Its just how it is. My son lives with his dad on welfare, comes over with dirty clothes, no bath etc and were trying for custody as well. He still sees his dad as a wonderful guy and God forbid anyone say contrary he will defend him til the end. This is what you will face. You have to be real sure you are willing to play the evil step mom role and prepare yourself. It might not ALWAYS be that way, but at first it will be. Every thing she is telling them is probably how you want to steal them from her, and if you win, theyll think she was right. Actually theres much more if you need anything pm me.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:15 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Wow. All I can say is document everything so you have it when you go back to court. I can't believe you two were denied temporary custody.

    Hope everything works out for the better.
    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 5:19 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Make a call to CPS. I hope you get a court date soon for the sake of the kids. GL
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 5:22 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • The courts won't care about religion. I'm kinda confused about the daughter staying the night with her friend. Is she not supposed ot stay there because the girl has a brother? They sound like they have a pretty shitty mother. I hope things get better.
    HadleyAzure

    Answer by HadleyAzure at 5:32 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I know that the courts will not care about the religion, but I really feel like the step dad should not be telling the kids that they are crazy and I am crazy because we believe in God. When they mention to me that their step dad says there isn't a God, I just tell the kids we will pray for him, I do not ever tell them he is crazy or insane.

    I do not ever plan to play the role as evil stepmother, but I can understand what you are saying. I am not traying to take her kids away, but they deserve better!

    The reason it's a big deal that the 7yr old is over at her friends house, first off a 1st grade little girl has not reason being friends with an 8th grader and secondly, they all sleep in the same room together.
    jojobeans429

    Comment by jojobeans429 (original poster) at 5:45 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Document everything! From their clothes (take photos of them when they arrive), hair, nails, stench, whatever they tell you goes on over there. If you see any bruises, photograph them. And just keep the documentation secret. If the kids know, they might tell the mom.
    I cant believe what that mom is letting her kids do... It's disgusting. How is it, that the court can seem to see, she really doesn't care?
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 8:43 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

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