Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Marriage has turned into roomates....

I'm scared that I'm no longer in love with my husband. Our sex life used to be phenominal. Then, the year that we concieved my daughter, we had sex a total of 3 times. During my entire pregnancy and the first 3 months after we had sex a total of four times. Last year was five I think, and that's erring on the high side. This year-nada-and it's already JULY! I've tried to tell him how hurt and rejected I feel. He says it has nothing to do with me and that he seems to have just lost his drive. I've begged him to see the doctor, or go to a sex therapsit with me, but he refuses saying he's too embarrassed.

I don't want to divorce so that is not an option. I don't know what to do. My friends say give him an ultimatum but I don't want to divorce so what is my "or else"?

Answer Question

Asked by Kitza at 1:07 PM on Jul. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i dont have an answer but i know how you feel. my guy is doing the same thing. i hate finding his left overs though it makes me sick and angry. one hand at least hes not cheating with another person, but i still feel cheated on, obviously hes not thinking of me or wanting me. i dont want us to be over, but sometimes i feel like it would be better. good luck with yours

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • well... wear a sexy corset for him. and flattering thong... make him want you.... Im sure he's not cheating on you... maybe he's just bored... I am a big woman.. but my husband has told me I LOOK SO SEXY to him, when i am confident and i feel sexy... he tells me " If I wanted a skinny goth chick, i would've married one, and its not too late for divorce... but I love and want you" Show confidence in the bedroom. do the whole bettie page thing!

    Answer by psychobilly_mom at 1:32 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I'm going through the same thing. If if it's a sexual problem. I'm not sure I'd leave him. Because it's something he can't help.

    Answer by Ann7227 at 3:17 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • My husband quit smoking a couple of months ago & lost his sex drive too... he says it's not me (even though I'm pregnant and huge)... and even though I don't really want sex that much, I feel bad like we SHOULD be having it more. You'll just have to try some new things... tell him "Baby, I want to have sex NOW!" and start kissing on him wherever he likes it the most. If you're not used to making the first move, don't do anything too crazy, but he might enjoy it.

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 3:59 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • Did I miss something? Change in sexual behavior is a classic sign of cheating. Are there other signs? Change in clothing, cologne, habits? Not trying to say he is but that's my first thought.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • NO. a lot of men lose it for a long period of time after their SO is pregnant. it just happens.

    Answer by lillie023 at 8:55 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • my man was the same way. its just a phase, put effort in and hopeully come around. For me I think it had alot to do with I was nursing alot. So my sex appeal was weird for him, he admitted he would look at me as a mother. Him being raised by a single mom he's super close with. IDK it was weird but eventually it got back to normal. Have you really been putting yourself out there. its hard not to be scheduled with litte ones around

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.